Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. They prepared dinner for us - mushroom pasta. I have always hated mushrooms, so I spent the entire dinner trying not to gag. Unfortunately, I did gag and my mom got up and smacked me so hard I fell out of my chair. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML
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Top comments
steelersfan501 17
Fyl? **** your moms life for making a great meal only to get punched.
jbivens1992 17
You got so excited you punched someone? Hmm...I may have to use this excuse in the future lol.
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Comments (17)
ThrottleJockey 36
Is your last name Foreman? Sounds like her cooking is a knockout!
FacesOfHumanity 14
Did you even read the FML?
Genkai 3
food so good make me wana slap my momma
VapeNation4Realz 4
"Today I made my son a beautiful meal. How did he thank me? He punched me in the face. FML."
mattyiscool123 26
Maybe you shouldn't make a fist when you're hugging someone
Kawaiicookie23 0
Imagine if his my mom was the one making this post, it would probably be like "I made my son gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries and how do I thanked... with a punch in the face, of course. Fml"