Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. They prepared dinner for us - mushroom pasta. I have always hated mushrooms, so I spent the entire dinner trying not to gag. Unfortunately, I did gag and my mom got up and smacked me so hard I fell out of my chair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, my idiot boyfriend, who thinks he's an outdoorsman, made sauce from mushrooms he'd foraged. I refused to eat it. He got upset and had two helpings. He's now in bed, whining about how bad he feels. Stupid dumbass. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with my boyfriend and his parents. It was my first time meeting them, so I was a bit nervous. As we were talking, I accidentally let out a loud burp. His parents looked at me in shock, and my boyfriend just laughed and said, "Well, she's certainly comfortable around you two." FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef was throwing food at us, I was getting ready for my turn. He tossed a piece of broccoli at me, I leaned back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Your mother is a wonderful parent. Who hits their kid over something like that? Also, mushrooms are horrible, so you were justified in your retching.
ojosRojos 28
At least it wasn’t HIS parents and you didn’t have to impress them? But yeah, that sucks.
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Comments (38)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Your mother is a wonderful parent. Who hits their kid over something like that? Also, mushrooms are horrible, so you were justified in your retching.
Glowworm56 27
I don't know about you, but I actually love mushrooms.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Well friend, I did mention my own hatred of mushrooms in my comment, so please tell me how you missed it? Each of us has different tastes, so some like mushrooms, and others don't. Disliking them is definitely not a valid reason to belt your child out of their chair, though.
Glowworm56 27
No, it's not a good reason to hit someone, especially when OP is a grown woman and shouldn't have to be forced to eat something that she doesn't want to.
Grega Čadež 5
mushrooms are wonderful. they are literaly treasures of the forrest. but yeah. mom is a psycho
BurnInDemonFire 39
Which forrest is that? Gump?
WHSKitty4ever 23
Assault
ojosRojos 28
At least it wasn’t HIS parents and you didn’t have to impress them? But yeah, that sucks.
listicka 5
Your mother is abusive cow. She knows you hate mushroom and still prepares it. And then disrespects you by smacking. You are adult (or close to it) and that's not right. I hope once you move out of the house to never speak to her again.
RichardPencil 32
Abusive cows kick you in the face and break your glasses.
voncrane 23
Wow, your parents must have really done a number on you. It could have been a joke. Which is what I believe it is. At least they didn't cook what her date absolutely doesn't like. Regardless, it's not worth moving out of the house and never speaking to your parent(s) again. Jeez, you current or future partner is going to have their hands full dating you. Good grief!
engineerosaurus 26
Did you miss the part where OP’s mother committed an assault? That is definitely reason to disown her.
RichardPencil 32
Why did you eat it in the first place? Your boyfriend is not going to be impressed by your ability to not gag on that kind of mushroom.
DonULFonso 22
But her boyfriend could have been impressed by her ability not to gag O:) ...
Mungolikecandy 19
Sounds like you may have had an abusive childhood and not realised it.
whiskey'swino 15
I bet the boyfriend was unimpressed by the abusive parenting. WTH
donb23 23
I would have gagged before eating.
onceuponatime456 16
Sounds like it is time to stop having anything to do with the b*tch! She deliberately made a mushroom pasta, knowing full well that you hated mushrooms! On top of that she did it when you brought your new boyfriend to meet them. She then assaulted you and you should charge her!
acmariner99 25
Mushrooms are terrible, so is your mother. Ergo, your mother is a mushroom.