Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML
Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML
Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML
Today, my mom slaved over a hot stove making a meal for 20 guests. They all cancelled at the last second. We now have leftovers for 20 people. FML
Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML
Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML
Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
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Top comments
sandracore 15
i hate roommates
primadonna9396 16
I know right? Sensibly budgeting for a baby is so ridiculous. It's much better to rent a place you can't afford and just raise your kid on welfare and food stamps. It might be in the scummiest most ghetto part of the neighborhood, but at least you have your own place...right?
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Comments (55)
sandracore 15
i hate roommates
BadasS14 0
sons of bitches!
nathan5 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Do you also hate capitalisation? lol jk I hate grammar Nazis and they're obviously having an effect on me...to much time on this site.
yusaku02 20
You mean too much time, not to much.
C6Racer 0
Agreed, 1. Time to open up a can of whoop-ass!!
steveakafranxy 7
who cares about spelling on an FML comment unless you can't read it, such as, "yhiss purrsin iz ztoopud"
KushTreats 21
The moment you get a roommate and then you realize they are a parasite to your life.
lexxiii 17
NOT THE SOUP!
i_wuz_nver_here 31
more like "today I had to go cook and clean for my **** of a pregnant daughter because she decided to have unprotected sex with some creep and now has to live with shitty roommates. fml"
dbonics 0
why ppl do things like this always amazes me. how rude and selfish can you be
TahoeFMler 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI, you're having a baby, grow up enough to not have room mates.
afallingstar 22
^^this is what I was thinking
nicole4rmmi 0
dont be a dick its ugly.
primadonna9396 16
I know right? Sensibly budgeting for a baby is so ridiculous. It's much better to rent a place you can't afford and just raise your kid on welfare and food stamps. It might be in the scummiest most ghetto part of the neighborhood, but at least you have your own place...right?
annemarte 4
Well, why have a baby when you can't afford it??
swimchick7 1
88- It's called unplanned pregnancy. They have sex, unprotected, and she gets pregnant. Duh
noelykins1 19
If you can't afford to take care of a child you have three choices A) have an abortion B) put the baby up for adoptions And 3) be unable to provide for the around $18,000 per year cost of raising and caring for a baby and ruining not only yours but your child's life. Seriously if you didn't want kids the maybe you should of made him pull out, used protection and of you knew both didn't happen taken the morning after pill. Don't have sex if you can't be responsible. This is why humans have overpopulated the planet, irresponsible people.
angeluv_2014 22
None of you even know anything about this woman's life and you're already saying she's a bad parent? What the ****?
angeluv_2014 22
90- I don't know what bit you in the ass before you made that comment, but CALM the **** down. You don't know a damn thing about this woman and you think you can pass serious judgement about her pregnancy?? What is worng with you??
Greenteamextreme 16
90 if you think pulling out is a sure protection against pregnancy then you're an idiot !
xaddrus 17
you’re actually gross. but taking it with a grain of salt since you live in your mothers basement
traze 7
Sucks to be you.
if_I_only_had_a_ 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, don't go getting yourself knocked up. Usually guys who are in your life help you with some of these things.
Lawlipop 3
Yes. Because I've never once heard of a guy who bails when he finds out his girlfriend is pregnant. :/
if_I_only_had_a_ 0
Aaaaaand I don't really feel bad for the women who got knocked up by those guys either. Sleep with a douche, don't expect much.
bec_w 0
I agree.
furburger 0
Do you live with a bunch of unruly Soup Nazi's? Yes? Well, what did you expect?
BloodyHeel 8
Thank you.
macskapingvin 0
Something tells me if they did this now, they've done it before. You should have realised what kind of people you were living with and adjusted your life accordngly.
xaddrus 17
not everyone is as big a phallis membrane as you are, some people try and stay positive. why can’t you adjust your life to all the inconveniences that’s happened to you shitstain?
bunny911 16
^^agreed