Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my fiancé and I visited his family for dinner. The entire time I was there, his mother and sister had an in depth conversation about how attractive his ex girlfriends were and how they got along with them so well. FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
Today, my mother arranged for me to meet the man she is planning to marry. Turns out, my future stepfather is also my creepy old boss, who spent 4 months hitting on me before I quit a year ago. FML
Today, I went to my fiancé's mother's funeral. His step-sister proudly announced that she's pregnant with his baby and they are engaged. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Monkeysmommy1 0
Dirty... Step daddy likes to keep it in the family.
m1k30d 6
You should make some kind of epic objection at the wedding.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
Melvar_10 3
Men who like getting kicked in the nuts are trannies
naddification 7
This is only the beginning.... *shivers*
Calyx_fml 22
Threesome!
SmittyJA24 26
Every guy wants to experience a 3-way ... and getting a mother-daughter tandem is high on the fantasy list (along with doing a pair of twins / sisters).
bubo_fml 11
Calling him a mutha fukka wouldn't be enough, would it?
hoonyer 17
Eh screw him . . .
jonnynasty 0
is his name Joey, how you doinn
5t3ff1k4h 47
OP, how old are you? Seriously though. You should be old enough to tell him off yourself. He's just a perv. And sooner or later, your mother will find out and that'll be the end of that relationship.
soccerguy2 11
76- Dont call me a weirdo!!
nimzie 0
Do something strange for a piece of change.