Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML
Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML
Today, it's Christmas Day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML
Today, I'm already dreading Christmas. Our mom insists on fairytale-like decorations that everyone else pays for and helps her make. We're exhausted. She's the only one who doesn't have a job, but if we don't help she spends the day crying in her room. FML
Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML
Today, on the third of February, my mom finally relented and let us take the Christmas decorations down. FML
Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, besides the fact that I hate Christmas since my parents divorced, my mom told me she can't come this year with my sister because of no money. We even offered to pay for their tickets, but she won't come because of the "last minute" stress. Fuck this year. FML
Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML
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Top comments
bedforddanesss 14
I had 8ft tall Christmas tree thrown at me by my mother a few days ago while she's screaming "mother ******* Christmas chEEEEEAAAAARRRR" so I feel your pain.
NeoMatrix25 12
The Bourne Ultimatum: Christmas Edition
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Comments (60)
Oyas12 14
That's... not how Christmas works...
ThePols 11
Feel her wreath. Get it? Ok.
DaniX9 5
Get her a wreath or you'll feel her wrath!
copperchinchilla 19
don't you mean that you'll feel her wreath? ??
worldclassrager 41
Well better get some tinsel out
alanharvey15 13
Mother Christmas is a bitch must say
Hash13 13
I think u should listen to your mom.
thes7274473 19
I don't even know what that's supposed to mean, but if I were you I would be scared.
bgon1350 4
easy...tell her to "stop being a grinch about it"
innocent_enough 2
You missed out on a great pun. You will feel her wraith xD