Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML
Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML
Today, it's Christmas Day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML
Today, I'm already dreading Christmas. Our mom insists on fairytale-like decorations that everyone else pays for and helps her make. We're exhausted. She's the only one who doesn't have a job, but if we don't help she spends the day crying in her room. FML
Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML
Today, on the third of February, my mom finally relented and let us take the Christmas decorations down. FML
Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, besides the fact that I hate Christmas since my parents divorced, my mom told me she can't come this year with my sister because of no money. We even offered to pay for their tickets, but she won't come because of the "last minute" stress. Fuck this year. FML
Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML
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Top comments
bedforddanesss 14
I had 8ft tall Christmas tree thrown at me by my mother a few days ago while she's screaming "mother ******* Christmas chEEEEEAAAAARRRR" so I feel your pain.
NeoMatrix25 12
The Bourne Ultimatum: Christmas Edition
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Comments (60)
NeoMatrix25 12
The Bourne Ultimatum: Christmas Edition
MrsDruidess 23
moms are always getting stuck "making Christmas", doing the decorations, cookies, shopping for gifts and cooking! I wanna kick my husband's ass every time he says "cant I just relax, its Christmas" I wanna freaking relax too jerk! . . . obviously I feel OP's moms pain. . .
bedforddanesss 14
I had 8ft tall Christmas tree thrown at me by my mother a few days ago while she's screaming "mother ******* Christmas chEEEEEAAAAARRRR" so I feel your pain.
onlychildFTW 34
Haha mum rage! She must be like a female hulk to throw an 8ft tree at you. Haha. I envision it soaring access the tree lot. Haha.
bedforddanesss 14
Oh yes! Very majestic before it caused me bodily harm. it was a beautiful tree before she promptly grabbed it by the middle and charged at me with it.
zBLAKEz 23
I feel like this would've made a great FML on its own.
bedforddanesss 14
Haha probably!
iTzSelverZz 14
Better get decorating!
purpleturtle16 20
Or just tell her you're Claus-trophobic
cakefete2 31
That might make the mom stocking stuff her boot up OP's ass.
cryssycakesx3 23
"ho ho ho" "stop it Patrick, you're. scaring him"
SauceySarah 30
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
lex1459 38
Ho ho h-oh no I'm sorry.
BadApple88 29
Play Christmas songs 24/7 until she gets sick of it *evil laugh*
cakefete2 31
So that's like two or three hours of radio? You're an evil genius.
ZorroRooster 19
No such thing as too much Christmas music.
Arot6 17
Y'all muthafuckas need Jesus.
jojimugo 20
And Xanax for their mum
therealtixe 8
illuminati
adamzki1999 16
That doesn't even make sense.
itsalanis 25
Yeah, just like the illuminati, it doesn't make sense.
izzyjaspers 12
Have fun with all that Christmas spirit
LittleSushi_fml 13
Deck the halls with boughs of holly...