Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML
Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML
Today, it's Christmas Day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML
Today, I'm already dreading Christmas. Our mom insists on fairytale-like decorations that everyone else pays for and helps her make. We're exhausted. She's the only one who doesn't have a job, but if we don't help she spends the day crying in her room. FML
Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML
Today, on the third of February, my mom finally relented and let us take the Christmas decorations down. FML
Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, besides the fact that I hate Christmas since my parents divorced, my mom told me she can't come this year with my sister because of no money. We even offered to pay for their tickets, but she won't come because of the "last minute" stress. Fuck this year. FML
Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML
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Top comments
bedforddanesss 14
I had 8ft tall Christmas tree thrown at me by my mother a few days ago while she's screaming "mother ******* Christmas chEEEEEAAAAARRRR" so I feel your pain.
NeoMatrix25 12
The Bourne Ultimatum: Christmas Edition
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Comments (60)
Edc54345 7
Don't you mean... feel her wreath?
wvcheesehead 13
Put 25,000 twinkle lights on the roof. That should keep you away from her for a while
kellyem2 20
*Removing Hanukkah decorations* This is not the holiday you're looking for.
ZorroRooster 19
What are you waiting for? Get cracking!
KociaQ 30
And my family wonders why I never celebrate Christmas again after I got my own place....
sorenisawesome 4
Maybe she said you'll feel her wreath?
False_Stupidity 42
It's the where that she might be feeling the wreath that is a worry.
willywaffle 5
Or you could feel her wreath
WarriorOmen 25
Urg. And I thought the woman I knew that had her Christmas Party on the first of November every year was bad. November 1st-December 31st is "Christmas' to her.
rdenkewicz 11
You should bring around the ho ho hoes for some Christmas spirit.
pandalover69 26
Go buy a christmas sweater and a mug and a santa hat and smile whenever you see her. Wear only when she's around. That should make her happy.