Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML
Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML
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Top comments
Mynamewontfi 40
Ain't that sweet of her.
mpkpm 19
Silly child, sweets are for parents.
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Comments (55)
mottomotto 9
You should've followed her and ask if she's gain a little weight... :-)
1947Chevy 17
As bad a move as that is that's what I would have done
smdeeznutz 9
That's is something I would do,..straight up!!!
Indianboy9321 25
It's like taking candy from her baby.
olpally 33
Tell her you notice she's getting fat. Then take your candy back >:)
AnOriginalName 19
-------- ^ Know what that is? It's a line. And you just crossed it. People do not call their own mothers fat.
dachayke 16
Umm, that's 8 hyphens. Geez, people sometimes...
olpally 33
#28, the mom stealing her own kids candy is also crossing a line.
4funzies 13
This really sounds like something my mom would do too...
outoftown 27
Pseudo-dieting mom strikes again! If mom is nice again around bathing-suit season, hide that candy.
worldclassrager 41
Got a back up stash?
nchic01 17
so sweet of her
davidislost 11
Be a loving daughter and relieve her of the burden she now carries, save her teeth too ;D
lemontreee 11
YDI for not being protective of your candy! I hide all of my food so my family doesn't steal it from me haha.
amb95x 17
My mother once did this to me behind my back with chocolates a boyfriend bought me.. I responded by leaving garlic flavoured sweets out. Poof, candy's left where it's supposed to be.