Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML
Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. Aside from falling every 2 minutes, I was apparently showing the entire mountain (including my dad) my thong every time I fell and got back up. My boyfriend saw everything and didn't let me know until we finished the 20-minute run we were on. FML
Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML
Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML
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Top comments
Enslaved 38
She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes.
Tempest151 11
Sounds like that lift ticket payed for itself.
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Comments (128)
Geekyandproud 19
That must have been horrible :( Sorry OP
HKCgrimmjow 15
Kind of a paradox, horribly orgasmic. Alright that just sounds wrong
IscoreOnU 19
No worse than the time I was on the phone with an old friend and she gave the phone to her mom as we were planning my visit. When a bout of terrible diarrhea came over me and I had to keep muting and unmuting and holding it as we talked. Was extremely awkward to say the least.
Saone_fml 27
@40 You could have just hung up.. Unlike OP who was stuck there.
jarrettd 27
Ohh oh no.
MuseFan1991 14
if it's a choice between an ****** or the squits i think i know what i'd prefer
AKGirlinSD 20
Am I the only one wondering if OP gets turned on way too easily or it has been way too long since she last had an ******?
Tempest151 11
Sounds like that lift ticket payed for itself.
iAlissa 34
Suddenly, a skiing trip doesn't sound too bad.
zingline89 18
A ski lift is better at giving orgasms than me. No wonder my girlfriend left me.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Are you sure you want to admit that in public?
29dear 16
That takes some balls, admitting that.
mega20913 8
F #3's Life
jojimugo 20
The first step is realizing you have a problem dude ,... But damn
zingline89 18
Or I could just be being facetious as usual. This didn't actually happen
SApprentice 34
Now, now, no need to retract your statement with us. We're all friends here, we understand.
Pleonasm 36
Hahaha zing, once you joke about it you can't take it back on here! You'll forever be known as Skilift!
GwennaRose 22
3 I'm sure all you need is a good teacher
dustyroaty 7
That sounds quite suggestive, does that mean you're giving lessons?
desoto96 9
In that case, ski lifts are better than me too!
coversquirrel 8
69- your comment plus the number your comment is made it 100 times funnier...
KageKaldaka 6
Or they just wanted the admiration that would come from having the balls of making said confession. It's a karma conspiracy! Oh wait, not on Reddit, my bad, carry on.
StanSmith2013 26
No wonder people like skiing so much! They ****** on the way up a slope and get pumped up on adrenaline on the way down!
wlddog 14
Thats the kind of vacation I wanna go on.
TomPusslicker 21
The other people in the gondola always get all weird when i rub one out on the way up.
epiclols 2
Next stop some skiing place
Pwuj 6
New hobby,. Learn how to ski,. Go skiing
Enslaved 38
She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes.
zingline89 18
Now that song brings me back to my childhood! Oh, and on a side note, thanks for ruining my childhood.
Enslaved 38
Oops! Sorry. The song brings me new meaning! (: ***And on my side note, I would love to see what all the hype is with such a ski lift. I've never seen snow and there aren't any mountains since I'm in Miami but I have water skied before. Not very good at it. I tend to want to lie down whenever my crotch gets wet. :P
alycion 39
I found snow skiing to be easier then water for some reason. Though I haven't done either since I was pretty young. I'd probably crack my skull like a coconut either way now.
kut17 11
My nephew was listening to that song. I had to excuse myself when it said "I'll be sharing a bed with Grandma when she comes".
zandalee 20
I like to lie down with my husband when my crotch gets wet... Each to their own though;)
lululatenight 28
Omigosh that's hilarious
Omnomnymous 10
I know the feeling...about living in Miami anyway not the crotch getting wet part.
marcranger 29
While I haven't had a similar experience with a ski lift, skiing itself can be quite arousing. There's all this wet, white stuff everywhere, and the terrain gets pretty hairy if it's not groomed regularly.
MoodyBlue320 11
Hey i'm from Miami too!! An snow skiing's much easier and so much fun.
Yessi_Boo 14
I'm in miami, too. I know that feels, bro
katefleck77 17
never seen snow?! god I wish.. canadian probs.
msdtreadwell 15
Perfect!
lishajoy777 14
Well apparently you had to like it...
Mister_Triangle 21
Some people ****** during rape. It's as disconnected from enjoyment as vomiting when someone sticks their hand down your throat is from actually feeling sick.
kittenmeownyan 18
Greatest thing I read all day
untouchable763 10
I always wonder how awkward it would be if the OPs family or someone they knew would read these. Any who I'm guessing you will be on the slopes again soon.
94yhy 8
Not as awkward as OP's boyfriend reading this, who has failed time after time trying to give her an ******.
octopussperm125 18
He was able to give her an ******, all he has to do is take her skiing, wheres the nearest skiing place by SI, this seems so much easier than trying to do anything yourself
JJ_Rokk 10
You know, you can buy that for a much cheaper price on eBay... Somewhere... Somewhere perverted...
happle 21
8Who buys a ski lift on eBay? O.ó
Meshidaru_fml 7
Justin, is that you?
_krystallynn_ 11
he meant a sex toy -_-
Shenanigans9 8
...and the jokes ruined
BellaBelle_fml 23
The joke ruined itself. It needed no help.
babeababe 16
You must be able to ****** pretty easily. I've skied (sp?) a lot and never had that happen.
zandalee 20
I'm just a wee bit jealous actually...