Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was having the "sex talk" with my mom because I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. My dad overheard us and is sulking. The only reason he hasn’t said anything like, “I’ll kill the boy” or, “Not until you’re married” is because he’s scared of my mom. Now everything is awkward at home FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
footballfreak65 6
That's horrible!!! I mean really clever but he's an ass.
that1guyyy 12
He really laid it it on you.
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Comments (123)
ryrock310 10
You're just getting the sex talk yet you have an fml account.... How old are you....
RCAddict16 0
LOL. Take a video of you having sex and email it to him
laxfootballbro 2
That sucks
hornyrabbit12 8
Your dad is mean lol
crimsonblood112 2
What the hell? That's a horrible thing for a father to say to his daughter! I'm only 14, but if my dad ever said that to me- I'd kick his ass without a second thought!
mookiemookie01 24
Wow Life isn't about sex anyway
Addieball13 6
Oh my god that's horrible!!!
Mypjsareblue 4
Lolololllolopoololooolol
auburngirl106 14
Thats mean
everyman2696 8
I'll **** u