Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to a new notification. I got excited, until I went on to see that it was my mom commenting on my status. She had seen my friends swear in previous comments and decided to make a comment of her own. She told them, "Hey, watch out yr language!" I'm nineteen. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, my mother is mad at me for deleting my Facebook account. I actually deleted the account because I'd had enough of putting up with her criticizing comments on every Facebook post I made. FML
Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML
Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
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Top comments
nikkibeez 0
haha oh well.. that's why you shouldn't accept family members on fb if you dont want them to see certain things.
impatientkarma 0
That's what you get for saying things on the internet you won't normally say in front of your mom.
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Comments (197)
SeasonedLemur 5
YDI there's no reason why you should have to swear on the Internet it's full of such lovely polite folk...
Coccinelle_fml 15
Dude have you not heard of such a thing as LIMITING YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS?
Pro_Nothing 9
There's multiple tricks, just simply blicking her won't work, as she will start to wonder why she's not getting status updates from you, unblock her from time to time and post something like, "I'm Bored" Every once and awhile. I'm 12 and already got this all figured out. Ps. Ydi for adding family members and not doing anything about it
Honesty4U 0
You're 12, you shouldn't be on facebook or this app!
hackymeal 0
I am 13 and I enjoy this app very much.
hahaalolz 0
I'm only 5....
Jakespeed207 4
#49 there's a little problemo with that. Once you block someone, they're also un-friended, so if you unblock them and want to talk to them, you'd have to send them a friend request again. I know, cause I blocked my entire family (that's on FB) but i blocked someone i shouldn't have and the aforementioned happened.
hellokittyrainbo 0
that's exactly what's happening to me with my dad right now. good luck
gumbo45 2
oh yeah my entire school saw that I told my friend in china about it. the whole world knows you better watch your back you never know when you will be laughed at.
that_guy_ollie 0
YDI for leaving the kitchen to go on face book now make me a samidge :)
alwaysbored13 14
That's why some parents should never use the internet.
soxboy15 1
Am I the only one more surprised by the fact that they have Internet in Malaysia?
Honesty4U 0
Wow! Xenophobic assumes America and Europe are the only places with the www!
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
*facepalm* Wow, your ignorance is showing. You need to Google KL, dude. It's an alpha world city, an important hub of international finance. Besides, much poorer places have widespread Internet access. I've found it easier to get online when travelling in some third world countries than while travelling in some major US cities, thanks to the wonders of Internet cafés.
ConradKay 13
Wow, this FML sure did bring the idiots out of the woodwork.
cannotbeheard 0
Hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Face.
tribridags 0
you cam remove the comment genius
blackwidowtaco 31
Can*. You seem to be as genius as op is.