Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML
Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened the browser repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML
Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML
Today, I realized that my virus protection program now has a virus. FML
Today, without any warning, I projectile vomited all over my laptop. I think I broke my computer. FML
Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML
Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML
Today, my dad was sat on my laptop in the living room trying to learn how to do some rewiring around the house when he, and I quote, ”clicked on the thing.” My laptop is now riddled with so many viruses it’s basically a house brick. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
**** Louise! Did you semen who threw it? I bet you weren't feeling very spunky after this seedy event. Cum on, spill the beans!
littlemsweirdo 12
That's ******* disgusting.
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Comments (126)
matt98_fml 13
OP's name fits my mood after reading this fml...
perdix 31
Aren't you happy you were using your laptop at that moment? Think of it as body armor protecting you from drive-by sperm bombings.
FuzzyJack 15
Ugh gross. Be glad it hit the laptop instead of you.
Lbeck 7
At least they used protection, stds & unplanned pregnancies are not good. BUT they could have disposed better...
evilplatypus 39
I'm sure their forethought as to protection makes OP feel wonderfully better about the situation
annie_nk 23
I dunno which is more threatening O.o
annie_nk 23
A computer virus or possible virus on that condom. (accidentally hit enter too soon)
bobeattaco 5
I bet that was a sticky situation ( sorry bad pun)
emilyjgraham 34
if you knew it was a bad pun and you even apologised for saying it... why say it?
mintcar 10
That's pretty ******* gross. I really hate when people throw trash out of their cars as they're driving. Throwing used condoms? That's def a new one. I'm not really surprised, I've seen used condoms at parks on many occasions. FYL.
neurodoc 1
Well.. On the brighter side, if it hit the right port, you will have a few lil laptops running around in no time and it would solve all your computing needs. :P FYL indeed
anniekins 6
What a wonderful way to start a beautiful day
ElishaisSexy2016 9
Ew! I'm so sorry! Take a shower! Immediately!