emilyhendrix0414
United States
Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
buccaneer
Piscataway, United States
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
anonamous
United States
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Anonymous
Southfield, United States
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
ZAnon
Houston, United States
Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
anyonmus
Westminster, United States
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Anonymous
Naughty boy
Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Tucson, United States
Doggy dog world
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
smellsofeggs
United Kingdom
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
g'day cunt
Adelaide, Australia
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
Vee
United States
Beast Mode
Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML
Top comments
greenie213 23
To dogs, everything is food!
Srs_business 7
The dogs not fat just a little husky.
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Comments (112)
Bullpine 11
Talk about a fatty.
Srs_business 7
The dogs not fat just a little husky.
jessicaazzzzzzzz 3
The owner must be a little husky too since dogs follow their owners
kamikrazy 6
Fun fact: lipstick is made of animal fat that cannot be used for food.
Srs_business 7
Better not let him woof it down then.
TheGianaJinx 0
These dog jokes are getting to be too much.
nukeacat 9
42- Why thank you Snapple!
christyxbee 15
I have two Siberians. I sympathize with your experience. They always seem intrigued with things in your hand - regardless if it's food or not! They ate my television remote once. *facepalm*.
jackdaniels23 1
I could see my dog doing that lol
patrickalamo 48
Intelligence flows down the leash.
greenie213 23
To dogs, everything is food!
bones_17 5
Yah one time I bought subway and put my sub on the dash, got out of truck talked to some one for 2 minutes. Come back to see my dog eating half my footlong. Dogs are ruthless they see anything it's fair game!
loserboii 11
"hey i wonder what's that in his mouth... and it's gone!"
ozone9914 2
you think thats bad you should have a cat to see how IRRITATING they are
bRower 3
85- I have to disagree. When my cats try to take my food, I find it endearing. Odd.
JuliannVo 11
That's mostly true when they are hungry. :)
perdix 31
No pizza for you, then!
Athleticism 11
Were you referring to the earlier fml?
KrazieKleo 13
Yes he was referring to the FML with the Great Dane who ran at the dog sitter when he got his pizza delivered lol.
starbursty 0
I have a over weight husky too. His name is Juno. Sorry OP that sucks.
Athleticism 11
An*
PurpleLightsaber 4
I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone cares.
Kallian_fml 21
People who admit their dogs are fat should really DO something about it. Animals shouldn't be overweight, it's cruel.
starbursty 0
63-damn you to hell grammar nazi.
skylarbee 8
Maybe you and op should get off fml and walk your dogs. I have two proper weighted Siberian huskies.
evilplatypus 39
I'd talk to the vet about putting him on a diet. They make special foods for overweight dogs. You could also have his thyroid checked, but I doubt that's the problem.
littlesister67 0
It's prescription food by purina called OM (overweight management). One of my dogs has to stay on it. Works very well.
BossPathfinderGM 14
Overweight Management food: Tastes bad, son dog doesn't want it!
Ajwc101 24
Don't get Iams they test their products on cats/dogs they are cruel to them. Plus younger dogs that eat Iams have a higher risk of skin cancer. This has all been proven. Google it.
Grimmerie 31
Oh no, they give dog food to dogs! THE HORROR
Ajwc101 24
Not like that. They lock them up in cages were they stay 24-7 never get out they live in their own waste.
KiiwiiRox 6
Be glad that's the only stick it went after ;)
LilLube 2
Considering OP was using lipstick I doubt SHE has this other stick you are referring to.
kamikrazy 6
Also, OPs name is Emily. Unless I'm from another planet Emily is a females name.
KiiwiiRox 6
My dog grabbed my girlfriends ***** once. I know she's a female -_-
chellyX92 8
That's disgusting that she had a ***** out where the dog could get it.
EpicBlondie89 19
69- Way to (ass)ume, dogs can get into a lot. They're pretty smart. She may have put it where she thought a dog couldn't get at it.
chellyX92 8
Things like that should go into extra precaution that kids and animals do not get into. Usually a locked drawer or on the shelf of a closet. It's still pretty disgusting that it happened.
whatadaydanny 12
Better than your overweight lipstick attacking a poor Husky.
hopsinlove17 26
What...?O.O
Greendaygirl52_fml 3
dogs learn their behaviors from their owners...
RougeRamirez 8
Are you saying OP attacks people that have lipstick?
xk75 4
There are no bad dogs, only bad owners! So maybe the op does indiscriminately Hoover food and non food alike...
Kaatosade 9
Is it small? Does it have a cosmetic smell to it? Yes? In a dog's mind: Smelly and small enough for mouth = food!