Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, I heard a woman moaning while I was walking on a sidewalk. I didn't mind, until someone dropped a recently-used condom on my head. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML
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Top comments
depechemode 0
...And this, my dear children, is how transformers are born.
perdix 31
"I'm sorry, Your Honor, about the accident, but I didn't see the other car because I was blinded by the semen." He'll want to see you in camera.
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Comments (55)
stupiddumbblonde 0
What the. it said I'm
Jcat_fml 0
I agree, how can you say YAY and then FML? it's just dumb.
drummer_dude 0
What happens when she turns the window wipers on because it's raining? It splits the condom and all the semen is spread over her window.
GJMO 0
I guess you would like a used condom flapping on your car then. Ofcousre it is an FML
teach09 0
How is this a FML? You don't seem very upset by it. It was tied so nothing came out. hmm...
procrastinatorrr 0
haha yeah, it was raining - windshield wipers plus untied condom could've got messy! would have been funny to see anyway
depechemode 0
...And this, my dear children, is how transformers are born.
jadeddream 0
#34 = WIN.
Allison_H 0
#34 Wins for greatest comment, therefore, winning the thread... And one hell of an awesome Screen Name. Depeche Mode FTW. #34. FTW.
embr 0
hahahahahahahaha!!!! tht made my life
stupiddumbblonde 0
What is going on???? I can't see my comments!!!
rainbowfrootloop 0
that's just nasty!!
vishmir 0
Hmmm.. looks like this should be on lml. College days are the best! :D
spaaw 0
haha made me lol
the_holy_one 0
Asher Roth FTW!!!
enough4 0
"Man, I love college. **** my life."
BrunetteHottiie 0
Sarcasm
LzrdPsnsSpck 0
That's nasty! But it's good that it sounds like you saw the funny side of it.
roflmaonade 2
wrong site buddy, refer to mylifeisaverage.com aka MLIA