Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML
Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML
Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Gesula 24
mildly concerned by the username
Nevracceptdefeat 26
Dont you hate it when that happens
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Comments (189)
amandalynn84 14
I really hope you don't go all Lorena Bobbitt on us, as much as you would love to. Just keep in mind that he is not worth the jail time, neither is your 'best friend'. This has happen to me. My heart goes out to you.
Delsanity 13
Lame excuses , around since 1346.
NoLifePlus 1
I'm wondering how often OP had sex with her husband in the first place. Anything less than once a month is good cause for occasional cheating if you ask me. In a relationship with mismatched libidos, it's not automatically the lower libido that wins. I'm on the husbands side unless OP convinces me that she tried her best to keep her husband satisfied with regular and good sex.
RAH94 17
He should slip and fall out of your life, you're better off without someone like that in your life.
kimmiebear97_fml 10
**** a fake friend, where yo real friends at.. no? okay..
Silk_Routes 14
its kool that u changed ur user name and hope that too will change...hope for the best op...cheer up they dont deserve U
Unes 10
OMG! Did he cum out ok ?
skye147 20
Hey! The same thing happened to my ex!!
MiniMidget54 6
At least he didn't cheat...
cjfred 13
If she's your best friend, I'd hate to see how your less good friends behave.