Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML
Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML
Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Gesula 24
mildly concerned by the username
Nevracceptdefeat 26
Dont you hate it when that happens
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Comments (189)
nityasomaiya 46
'What were you doing?! ' 'It was an accident honey' 'Aw you poor soul, this is the third time... You would need a little more help to come out, how about I call my lawyer for assistance?'
jibri21 7
some people just can't fully grasp of marriage it's like why marry when you know you can't help yourself
cappellaaa 23
I feel like this happens to a lot of people. There's a lot of shitty best friends and spouses out there apparently...
otecasacid 22
Well... Maybe you should re-evaluate who your best friend is too
CaptainRR 20
Have you tried repeatedly falling and slapping him? XD
martin8337 36
Accidentally slip and onto his best friend's penis.
chelseaaab 6
Slap a bitch
menfearme 10
Hopefully, it was face first... after you kicked him in the balls each time!
JessicaGrewal 22
........
mrdvs31 3
that's some good ******