Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML
Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML
Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Gesula 24
mildly concerned by the username
Nevracceptdefeat 26
Dont you hate it when that happens
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Comments (189)
tigerisabelle 31
Looks like both of them are going to be involved in another "accident" pretty soon...
abNormal62 23
Now see if he had bought one of those alarm force emergency necklaces - as seen on TV, he could've called right away for help and gotten safely out the first time Hello? Alarm Force? I slipped and fell into a ******. I don't know if I need help out or noti
Justayne 5
It happens some time
AllSoul 23
Only if you married a dick.
_kyleG_ 34
I want to up this more than once
tiggerlover100 27
I'm so sorry that's terrible thing for your husband to do
prettyReckless96 10
Ugh, sorry to hear op ): guess your friend lost her friend and husband lost his wife
danceinconverse 25
Wow, your friend must either have a huge ****** and your husband must be a very tiny man.
Shadowvoid 33
This has to be one of the most beautifully worded FML's on this site.
flyingmind_fml 17
wow they r just so pitiful "little things please little minds" they deserve each other so 4get abt them and find someone better
gintwinsmoore 20
time for a best friend version of wwe smack-down!