Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML
Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML
Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML
Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML
Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Gesula 24
mildly concerned by the username
Nevracceptdefeat 26
Dont you hate it when that happens
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Comments (189)
ebonyrose2828 16
Accidentally kick his balls.
Mexico_WC2018 16
Ah the llamas in hats good times
AllSoul 23
#116, you seem to have a thing about cooking and eating hands, it's quite scary. I hope this YouTube video explains it...
Badkarma4u 17
Never bring violence into a relationship. Some men would find that provocation enough to really physically hurt her.
KVYLV 16
"husband" and "best friend" huh? that's unfortunate, love your attitude about this. <3 Praying for you O.P.
jqmalang 17
Leave both your husband and your best friend. I know it's going to be very difficult but you are better off without people like that in your life OP.
deademolover 19
hey maybe on the long run it would be a favor maybe shell find someone even better than her soon to be ex-husband and a better bestfriend who wouldnt ever cheat/betray her
usaidwhat82 21
Dump him and find a better best friend.
pastel_fml 18
Sounds like he's the accident.
david99021 15
dont worry just do the splits on his best friend.
whitnayfortooh 29
he probably doesn't have one ha
david99021 15
because he is already so deep in the pussy?
rinzler806 9
That must be a pretty huge ******, if he could fit his whole body inside.
lulinator 40
Pencil down a hallway.
melissaferns 16
dead lolololol
rinzler806 9
Banana down a subway tunnel
wakemeupplease 21
Lol seems like someone is gonna die soon :D
EarlFug 19
I hope he's ok! OK enough to sign divorce papers, that is.
sstahpp 33
This happens waaay too much to be surprising anymore?
AllSoul 23
When it's your husband and your best friend, two people you care about a lot, I think it comes as a pretty big surprise, and a slap in the face.
sstahpp 33
I won't argue with that
BigxXxDeal 14
I agree and when its two people that are that close they are bound to be around each other with you. just a matter of time. hopefully op kicks his ass clean out with nothing to show. I just hope they don't have kids in the mix