fuck no
Kollam, India 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
cortanaisahobot
Toronto, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Hot and… greasy
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Kinky
Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML
Anonymous
Berkeley, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Taste test
Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML
pipers
Northfield, United States
Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
hamburger
Adrian, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Sexy talk
Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML
ch4nny
Sydney, Australia
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
whatdidimarry
Cardiff, United Kingdom
Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML
BaconBreathBlonde
United States
And they say romance is dead…
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Top comments
vampgirl999 8
This would be a good time to stop having kitchen sex. Or never start.
JustBecausePie 12
Hey you can't hate it till you try it.
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Comments (105)
Selene1090 26
You should never put anything up there unless it is specifically for it. Food is always a no-no. Unless you want a nasty infection. Those of you saying it's a good idea apparently don't understand how a ****** works.
ourtneyc 14
there's too many YDI's on here. it's obvious it wasn't her idea
Sheh_fml 25
Guys, vaginas are ******* sensitive. Just get actual lube, because ****** up mucus membranes can take forever to heal.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why are there so many YDI's? It wasn't OP's idea, and she didn't say they actually used it; just that her husband wanted to. But it's not her fault or idea.
amanda182 19
Bacon is delicious.. But I can't even imagine having that thick nasty grease all over my body. That just sounds dirty and disgusting. Sorry OP.
ThrottleJockey 36
Never fry bacon naked. Sage advice.
ThrottleJockey 36
Just tell him you want him to nibble on your beef curtains. Oh, wait this is India. Uh, tell him you want him to make your Lotus flower bloom?
killigan 12
Bacon isn't even that good. This bacon crisis is going WAY to far..
FragMatik_fml 12
Way to have an American child
mitchell360 13
Because in Canada bacon is life!