Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, my wife finally agreed to try anal. Unfortunately, it was too hot in the apartment so I couldn't focus and I kept going soft. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, I asked my husband if we could rekindle some of our old intimacy, get back in touch with each other’s inner selves, that sort of thing. He looked confused, then got a big smile and said, “You mean we can do anal again? Why didn’t you just say so?” FML
Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
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Top comments
The_Water_Ninja 9
sounds charming...
datgamerchick 14
Sounds like we know what's cooking for dinner!
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Comments (136)
The_Water_Ninja 9
sounds charming...
hessel 13
pfft watch how romantic it is when morgan freeman says it
then000bster 16
@23, I can't imagine Morgan Freeman saying it in a sexy voice. It always comes out smooth like dinner talk, not dirty sexfood.
fieldhockeygal97 19
At least he didn't say: bite the pillow, I'm going in dry
feelingold 18
Why does OP assume he was trying to sound romantic?
priiest 8
Ya.... I believe a guy would try to make a joke there
iheartkanye 8
Well, can't blame a guy for trying... He's just trying to combine a guys two FAVOURITE things, sex and food. Did it work? Naaah....
Blue_Black_fml 21
I don't think the husband was trying to do that..
datgamerchick 14
Sounds like we know what's cooking for dinner!
nnnope 26
your profile picture is perfect
twinkiefeets 17
Your husband is quite the romantic.
mackdeezy 22
This is when you kindly remind him that you're having sex, not cooking :p.
13ky13 20
What an ass. Ba dum tiss.
VeganVampyre 27
No.
klovemachine 24
Yes
Tinkerbell133_fml 5
maybe?
bluehero 17
Nah
asnakelovinbabe 16
Perhaps.
kyla_milan13 5
Then again.....
Startled_Toenail 21
I read "ba dum tiss" as "da bum tiss" :|
fuckyourlifeOP 25
What a shitty situation
Pwn17 25
Really?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Looks that way.
TrueTriage 16
1st of all this doesn't apply to this situation. Secondly NEVER COMMENT THIS AGAIN OR WE WILL HUNT YOU DOWN 3rd learn the Internet rules then come back to this site for an unofficial copy just read stuff on 4chan for a week
SuperDanielNL 23
This is honestly the shittiest thread ever on FML. People using all caps and stuff.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Yeah, and don't forget about people jumping on the bandwagon too.
KickRocksNerd 11
TrueTriage: You should calm your **** lol. It's was a pun.
kyla_milan13 5
Wait why is #14 so mad. Lol like calm down. Maybe you need some anal to calm you donw
mimiminx 23
Can anal be romantic then?!
zolziski 11
I guess it depends on what you find romantic.
ShyAnn29 15
I guess if you think having something hard shoved up your butt romantic, then it is. Personally, I don't think that sounds very romantic at all!
DjeePee 25
Why can't it be? If it's done nice and gently, with lots of hugs and kisses... sounds fairly romantic to me.
twinkiefeets 17
Why can't it be? If it's between two consenting adults you could make anything romantic.
neeni88 23
54 - Even scatting?
graceinsheepwear 34
shoo-doo-shoo-bee-ooo-bee. See how romantic scatting can be?
AestheticGuy 21
Of course it can! @35 "Shy-ann" I dont think anyone cares what you think. If you can't handle that anal is simply another method of sexual intimacy and can of course be intensely romantic, then you have obviously not been in a sexual relationship. Its ok to be a virgin, but dont comment about a topic that you obviously have no experience in, ok sweetie :)
SuperDanielNL 23
Well that's really suave and smooth talking...
Miss_Klutzie 28
Aaaaaaaand there went the mood ._. Lol