Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
Today, at work I had to spend two hours cleaning up stinky toilet water. Why? Because yesterday, I forgot to turn on the septic tank pumps. The tank overflowed, and so did all the toilets. My boss is not happy. FML
Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML
Today, I was cleaning, anticipating my hypercritical in-laws coming to see our new house. Literally 10 minutes before they arrived, sewage backed up the basement drain. My father-in-law spent the entire visit commenting on the smell, and how he couldn’t use the washroom. FML
Today, after my landlord has refused to fix the bathroom plumbing problem in my apartment for several days, I had to buy cat litter for myself. FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML
Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML
Today, a pipe leaked in the store I work at. I had to smell sordid waste for more than 8 hours. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
While you're at it, calmly explain to your husband what he's doing wrong. If he tries to disagree with you, the frying pan used to cook the bacon can also be used to help get your point across, by bashing him in the head with it until he sees sense. Or stars.
krray 7
As you apparently already know grease is a septic system KILLER. Try and get the septic system people on the phone -- and have THEM explain this to your husband.
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Comments (11)
BurnInDemonFire 39
While you're at it, calmly explain to your husband what he's doing wrong. If he tries to disagree with you, the frying pan used to cook the bacon can also be used to help get your point across, by bashing him in the head with it until he sees sense. Or stars.
BurnInDemonFire 39
I thought this one looked familiar. How has it taken six months to be posted to the main site?
RichardPencil 32
Hopefully, you can pay the septic guy in bacon, because...mmmm, bacon!
krray 7
As you apparently already know grease is a septic system KILLER. Try and get the septic system people on the phone -- and have THEM explain this to your husband.
toxicMadame 7
That is not what you do with bacon grease you use it to flavor scrambled eggs
JasonThorn 23
There's a lot of good uses for bacon grease. My brother uses it to make homemade dog treats, and in place of oil for frying.
Charlie Given 28
Your husband is a moron or ignorant
Cole Manson 10
How the hell do you make enough bacon to have half a liter of grease in a time span soon enough to be able to POUR it down the drain.
zuckerburg 21
who the **** does your husband think he is? pouring down good bacon grease?? you can use it in your cooking for **** sakes!
Lucky O'Guin 18
YDI for being married to the idiot who wastes good bacon grease. How much bacon did he cook to make that much grease anyway? Instead of watching him pour it all, why didn't you stop him when he started?
millsjoshua949 12
I'm curious. Did you speak up and tell him not to do that?
randybryant799 21
Or you could tell your idiot husband to stop pouring crap like that down the drain.