Today, I was detained by a stubborn cop who swore he saw me sprinting away after shoplifting. I’m missing part of my right foot, and walk with a cane and a limp, I haven’t sprinted anyplace in 12 years. Not even showing him my foot convinced him. I was sat in his car over an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I was humiliated, detained, and questioned by police when I tried to leave a store with an unpaid item. I honest to God didn’t see the item because it'd slid under my toddler daughter's leg while she sat in the basket. The store refused to believe me, even when I tried to pay for it. FML
Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
Today, I was detained by a security guard. I heard him trying to justify detaining me to his boss and it was basically, “She was eyeballing me, so I showed her who’s boss.” I'm now banned from the shop, which is a 30 yard walk from my home. My weekly shop is now a 4 mile drive away. FML
Today, as a security guard, I caught a kid shoplifting and confronted him. He ran circles around me for almost 5 minutes, then picked me up and dumped me in a builders' skip before escaping. To add to my humiliation, my boss questioned my suitability for the job, and advised me to update my CV. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML
Today, I got lost trying to find the hospital my sister was giving birth in. I stopped at a store to call my mom for directions. A cop pulled up beside me and knocked loudly on my window asking me to get out. The store had been robbed and I am now a suspect. FML
Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gunpoint, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Taking off your prosthetic to establish an alibi, eh? Well played, criminal mastermind!
xaddrus 17
pigs can only look down
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Comments (4)
xaddrus 17
pigs can only look down
RichardPencil 32
Taking off your prosthetic to establish an alibi, eh? Well played, criminal mastermind!
poopface82 25
**urge to play **** the Police rising**
tiptoppc 21
He was probably wearing the shirt at time of arrest and they wanted to do him dirty. But seriously though. **** the police. Laziest bastards I’ve ever had the misfortune of ever coming across. Rocks I’ve own have done more to actually enforce justice. Even rocks will put themselves out to trip a criminal. Cops watch them run off from a crime here and say they don’t have time to deal with it. It’s so bad and they are so lazy, they said it wasn’t worth the paperwork when my wife and I were randomly assaulted by our upstairs neighbor while the neighbor was on meth. It’s why we are moving from our apartment suddenly
protoskore 27
can we make some assumptions about the color of your skin vs. the color of the cop's skin ?