Anonymous
United States
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
anonymous
United States
Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
Anonymous
Just once
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
fun
United States
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
disgusted
Harpenden, United Kingdom
The language of love
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Anonymous
United States
Relationship goals
Today, my husband missed the toilet again. I would have been less disgusted if he'd peed this time. FML
heart broken
United States
Today, my husband told me yet again that the last two years have been the worst of his life. Our two year anniversary is next week. FML
Carpet cleaner
Canada
Wait for the hangover
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Wet dreamer
Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
Thanks Honey
United States
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
mmvv
United States
Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML
Top comments
Metalman69 0
and you didnt know he had this problem prior to marrying him? did you two not live together before then?
vicki2354 0
omg potty train that man!!!
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Comments (154)
twinkybandit 2
lol it's always sunny in philladolphia
daymann 0
where's philadolphia?
RedPillSucks 33
Isn't that where people have sex with dolphins?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Only the gay ones, RPS.
Mylees 0
you know they say on tv dolphins are just gay sharks..!!! just FYI
rasellersjr 0
heheh she did it and blames him... or maybe it was Mac!?
Lichinamo 33
@11 *Philidalphea @155 Sharks are fish and dolphins are mammals. Look into it.
graceinsheepwear 34
@240. You are only making it worse. It's Philadelphia.
Doortje 30
Maybe he died. Twice.
mikejunior88 4
lmao @ 15
ohmistagee 2
"Dump" him. There's no excuse for it !!
DLTsandwich 5
She shouldn't dump him for something he can't control. Or did you just say that in the first place to simply make a pun..?
linlin223 3
16- What you did there.. I SEE IT. hahaha
jinxthejinx 0
DLTsandwich, what is in that sandwich?
Phustercluck 11
Wheat bread, a heavy amount of mayo, lettuce, bacon, and a face...
DLTsandwich 5
Precisely. Phustercluck knows what he's talking about.
Thanateros 1
Sucker
maskedman 9
I heard of a shitty marriage but this is ******* ridiculous.
Asstastic4 0
Your pic made me laugh. It's so epic.
maskedman 9
We both have funny pictures. The ladies of FML should be all over us in 5, 4, 3, 2…
Asstastic4 0
Aw.
Phustercluck 11
Heyyyyyy baby
maskedman 9
You ladies are late and one of you is not a lady at all. This did not go the way I planned it at all.
molil_4810 0
hahahahaha that is disgusting and funny at the same time!!
rasellersjr 0
...disgunny
bointy 0
Have to agree with six.. how do you just sit yourself, get up, shower and go to work like it nothing. Oh honey would you mind tossing the sheets in the wash? I'll see you at dinner.. WTF
daznad 0
puntastik!
GTmustang07 0
y does everyone think you have to move in together before getting married? marriages last longer when ya don't - least that's what those stats say...but either way she got a shitty deal
Mirorbo 27
It's just more advised. You learn more about a person when you live with them before marriage, thus know if you really are ready for wedlock commitment to them or not.
pickledpandas 0
you want to end up marrying a bedshitter? check the statistics of that kind of mariage lasting.
pandemic_fml 0
28: Did you ever consider that a good portion of the people measured in those statistics are religious conservatives who don't believe in doing ANYTHING before marriage? Guess what those same people also usually don't believe in? Divorce. I work in a copy center and end up making copies of these "marriage workbooks" all the time. They're ******* depressing, and they have chapter titles like "Staying Married Does Not Mean Staying In Love". Yes. Direct quote. I'm serious.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
pandemic: Not trying to start a debate here, so I won't address the whole living together issue. But tbf, you shouldn't judge a book by its, er, chapter titles. There's a possibility that the chapter title was intended to be eye-catching, to draw the reader in. Lots of people define "being in love" as the heart-fluttering, baby-talking, you-can-do-no-wrong-ever feeling of infatuation. That feeling does wax and wane over the course of any long-term romantic relationship. The message of the chapter could easily have been that sticking through rough times and working on maintaining those feelings is preferable to divorce. Just sayin'.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
BTW, I generally abhor Christian self-help books, so I'm not necessarily defending the content. Just proposing an alternate explanation for the WTF-ness.
pandemic_fml 0
I totally understand. I thought the same thing at first, so I actually read it. The whole book was basically just telling you to drown yourself in faith and force yourself to bear it until you die because divorce makes the angels cry.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
... and that's why I generally abhor those books. Ugh.
fylhah 0
ask him to clean the sheets and make a sandwich