Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML
Today, I got super psyched up about a landscaping project my wife denied last year that she's finally game for, which will both fix a water leak into the house, and make our backyard look amazing. I took a week of PTO, then 20 minutes later my wife called to tell me a tree in our back yard fell over. We're also probably getting divorced. FML
Today, my husband was home past his usual departure time for work, so I pointedly asked if he would be late. He said he called out sick. I stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief, as he said he "wanted to relax in the yard with a book." He's completely lost his mind. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML
Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML
Today, my husband popped out to the hotel gym while I jumped in the shower. After a while I heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was him, I cheekily opened the door in my naked glory to be greeted by the maid. I didn’t know do-not-disturb signs aren’t double sided. FML
Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
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Top comments
life_is_life 0
you stepped outside naked? LOL. well, dont worry i bet they enjoyed it.
Yeoman 0
haha thats awesome. Im sure they loved that job, and theyll be back ANYTIME.
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Comments (148)
zipykido 0
Well they should have done a little landscaping on you, since your husband paid and whatnot.
YouMustBe_Joking 0
Hi--I'm 27. I exaggerate from time to time. I occasionally use words to describe a situation that just roll off the tounge right--I called her an indecent ***** because it was fun to say, much in the same way people say "gay" because it just sounds so perfect--you can put the emphasis on it and everything. Its great how people on the internet all exhibit the same insecure traits they show in real life. Desperate for the approval of your internet peers, you chose to single me out and gang up on me like schoolchildren. I am not single, nor am I in a relationship. I just consistently hook up with 5 different girls. I'm 16. They don't want a relationship, I don't want a relationship. Nor am I dumb. I attend a nationally-well regarded school with an incredibly rigorous curriculum and and extraordinarily exclusive admissions standards. Basically, all your assumptions based upon my one comment are false, and I in fact lead a more privilidged, successful, and fulfilling life than 96% of the population. Feel free to quote and rebut everything I have said here in a frivolous attempt to create an internet argument--just know I won't be back. I have school tomorrow, and then I'm going to a girl's house to get a massage with a happy ending.
mjsmclaren 0
I agree w/ #47, however #27 genius
DaFluffyGoldfish 0
LMAO @ 44
SaruhMai 0
YDI for public nudity.
kellster 2
How kind of your husband, to "let" you sleep in. You need his permission, hey?
missethics 0
23/87 lolz dude. pretty sure that second post won you douchebag of the year award. congrats!
baby_love 0
speaking of landscape, i hope there was no bush :] lmfao this is a funny one
baby_love 0
lmao i love # 27 :]
brkn_hearted 0
lol well, hopefully they liked what they saw and they'll make sure to do an extra good job to try to impress you :D gotta think about it in on the bright side >.