Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML
Today, I got super psyched up about a landscaping project my wife denied last year that she's finally game for, which will both fix a water leak into the house, and make our backyard look amazing. I took a week of PTO, then 20 minutes later my wife called to tell me a tree in our back yard fell over. We're also probably getting divorced. FML
Today, my husband was home past his usual departure time for work, so I pointedly asked if he would be late. He said he called out sick. I stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief, as he said he "wanted to relax in the yard with a book." He's completely lost his mind. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML
Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML
Today, my husband popped out to the hotel gym while I jumped in the shower. After a while I heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was him, I cheekily opened the door in my naked glory to be greeted by the maid. I didn’t know do-not-disturb signs aren’t double sided. FML
Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
life_is_life 0
you stepped outside naked? LOL. well, dont worry i bet they enjoyed it.
Yeoman 0
haha thats awesome. Im sure they loved that job, and theyll be back ANYTIME.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (148)
ragas 0
that sucks and first
tub944 0
pics or it didn't happen
InstantRanbowMix 0
Wth? You let your dog out of the house while your naked, this just doesn't make sense to me
kimaniv 0
wouldn't you have noticed the people staring at you?
ajsciri4 0
Yeah, she could have come up with an excuse on the spot tho... "sorry, I'm still used to the nudist colony we moved from.."
maddierox13 0
?? really?
life_is_life 0
you stepped outside naked? LOL. well, dont worry i bet they enjoyed it.
Yeoman 0
haha thats awesome. Im sure they loved that job, and theyll be back ANYTIME.
ebbasaur 0
STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID! YOU ARE SO STUPID!!!!
lpaul49 0
#3 - OP could be mad ugly. Also, that's rough.
americayay 0
That's a bit weird anyway. I mean, you went OUTSIDE butt naked? Where do you live? A ranch in Montana at least 50 miles away from anyone or a stone fortress? Otherwise there's a damn good chance of being seen and you probably should have known better.
rukusrazor 0
YDI for sure. Try a window first next time.
illeyad 0
Who would you get naked before letting your dog out? Crew or no crew what if you neighbours or passer byers saw? Next time, have some decency and put a robe on if you’re in such a hurry.
cilladasaurus 2
It's her backyard & her house.
Achall91 17
The could live in a very secluded spot.
sulitak 27
but the husband could have had friends helping too. OP was stupid