Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML
Today, I got super psyched up about a landscaping project my wife denied last year that she's finally game for, which will both fix a water leak into the house, and make our backyard look amazing. I took a week of PTO, then 20 minutes later my wife called to tell me a tree in our back yard fell over. We're also probably getting divorced. FML
Today, my husband was home past his usual departure time for work, so I pointedly asked if he would be late. He said he called out sick. I stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief, as he said he "wanted to relax in the yard with a book." He's completely lost his mind. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML
Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML
Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML
Today, my husband popped out to the hotel gym while I jumped in the shower. After a while I heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was him, I cheekily opened the door in my naked glory to be greeted by the maid. I didn’t know do-not-disturb signs aren’t double sided. FML
Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
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Top comments
life_is_life 0
you stepped outside naked? LOL. well, dont worry i bet they enjoyed it.
Yeoman 0
haha thats awesome. Im sure they loved that job, and theyll be back ANYTIME.
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Comments (148)
kwbuzz23wk 0
you are a god send
nuclear 0
YDI. No doubt.
Kamazar 0
"Ah, yes, I'm looking for... Enriiiiique." *wink wink*
americayay 0
LOL. I love how all commenters assume that this person is attractive. Did you know that ugly people can take their clothes off TOO?
kittyangel_fml 0
Haha! That's awesome. OP you made my day!
MathMajor6 6
She said he was landscaping in their backyard, so unless she lived in a place with houses right next to and behind other houses, it would be pretty strange for neighbors and passersby to be there... But she still should have checked to see if anyone was in the backyard.
tko 0
lol #8
GR3453m0nk3y 4
ok ive tried and tried to figure it out, what doe OP stand for???????
waxstigmata 0
19:...original poster... anyway, why didn't you take the dog out, AND THEN get naked and take a shower? i don't know why you would want to be naked outside, i hope it wasn't cold...
tWitt3rBuG 0
I'm assuming that there outta be windows to see your yard, so how come you didn't notice other people there? I'm sure you would've heard voices? What is it with communication, i mean your husband would've spoken to you first, aint it a big decision employing a contractor? In any case, since you were oblivious to all the living signs, did you manage to get a massive discount on the job? ;-)
DirtyJerz32 5
You're a retard
Zachery_13 0
Yepp