Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
Today, while I was staying at a farm for a few nights, I got really connected to a chicken I met. It was so tame and really cuddly. I legit loved it so much. Later on, we had chicken for dinner. It was the same chicken. He also had a name. FML
Today, I was busy working on a paper, so my parents offered to go get me some Mexican food. Eager for some nachos, I thanked them. At 9 p.m. they weren't back, so I called. They weren't in an accident, but spontaneously buying a new car without telling me. They didn't return until 11 p.m. with cold, greasy KFC. FML
Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML
Today, I went without my phone all day, because my roommate moved it. Because I'd left it in the fridge. On top of a bucket of KFC. Which he ate. FML
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
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Top comments
Porschephile 0
Your dad has a sense of humor
BooGhosted 0
Get fries.
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Comments (196)
Porschephile 0
Your dad has a sense of humor
Friaza 29
I don't see the problem, just ask to go to McDonalds or something.
tatababe 1
Pet chicken?????? At least you don't need to buy eggs
hidinginthesky 0
What a loving dad!
freakinglaugher 10
Anyone making a choked the chicken joke? No? Well I bet your dad choked that chicken before you ate it! o_o I see why no ones made that joke now..
urdirtyolduncle 15
Is this Kramer from Seinfeld?
LiveLaughFML 10
let's just hope your chicken didn't run to Kentucky & isn't fried :3
jjoyce6 0
Would you rather have Popeye's Chicken instead?
Peonie_fml 6
Lol while it's funny it's also sad. Sorry OP
Peonie_fml 6
Lol while it's funny it's also sad. Sorry OP
Thunderbender 2
WTF!!! You're dad's an asshole!!!! He should have gotten Popeye's : (
fakeaccountX 6
Never had I imagined "beloved pet chicken" being used in a sentence before.
jabee8 0
this one is SOOO fake lol
PutItIn 8
I don't care what the case may be. Eat the KFC.
BEASTvela_17 1
I agree fyl because your chicken ran away, but your dad offering to buy you KFC? Aww you poor baby your life sucks sooo bad.
YDI__Bitch 0
It didn't run away... Your dad got hungry. And that wasn't KFC... It was your dads cooking.
zendaddy0 0
Well at least you can get a boy/girlfriend now
humorizer 14
Your dad is such a ****.
gojira666 7
DOUBLE DOWN!!!
IFightBearsDaily 0
127- win for the awesome pun. (:
humorizer 14
Pun? What pun? I was just saying that he's a penis. I kid, I kid. Thank you for catching that. ;)
OliviaNicole 5
Yeah, I don't think turning down KFC would have been an option for me. But still, sorry OP.
bennyboy111 7
THAT IS LEGEN WAIT FOR IT.... DARY LEGENDARY What an awesome dad
dre_bro11 12
16, I think the word's 'didn't'. Unfortunately for OP, now she does...
Kn0wledge123 21
Well...did you eat it?
nastenka_fml 0
Chicken rrrun
BooGhosted 0
Get fries.
OCDC 9
**** bitches. Sorry, couldn't resist :)
loroxe 6
Naa curly frys or onion rings are better
nc21690 19
lol sounds like your dad is funny
i_wuz_nver_here 31
I modded this but instead of KFC it just said chicken...
TheTerenity 9
I love chickens... In both ways... No offense... Wait that sounded kinda wrong...
BooGhosted 0
Really... I love.... chickens.. too.
NTimmy 2
Lol 'in' both ways
blackbelt25 12
Who doesn't like cocks?
thesunsetglow_fml 8
135 goes "'in' both ways" also, apparently. :)
thesunsetglow_fml 8
Meh. That sounded better in my head.
EvilCupcake8361 9
lol
heartbrakej 0
Well I don't know about you, but KFC is good any day.
heartbrakej 0
Whoa, wait... who the **** has a chicken for a pet?
BigMacBoi 3
Popeyes
sxe_beast 11
Dude, KFC is low quality crap. Many other places to get much better fried chicken and better sides.
rainbo955 0
50 - that's true for in America. in Canada, kfc agreed to a waiver they only but local chicken, try are killed humanely and all the chickens have to pass a health safety test and the slaughter house has to be inspected. but ya, who has a chicken for a pet? sure, I have chickens. but we raise then to EAT them.
iJasper 8
HeartBrakeJ- I have a pet Chicken, and a lot of people do. I don't live on a farm, but in a beach house, and I love my chicken, so just shut the **** up -.-
iJasper 8
124- Mkay, Sorry ^^
alliewillie 22
I have a pet chicken as well, in the middle of suburbia. She knows her name, comes when called, and can identify colors. Screw you
mea_iloveskiing 26
Where would he have taken you if your pokemon had run away? =D
YaboyVinnie 21
Definitely Mickey D's.
JonaDona 2
Why have a pet chicken.. They're annoying with their "bawk bawk ba-BAWK". If it was as loud and annoying as most chickens then i wouldnt doubt that maybe someone let it run away.
SteelCladAngel 0
If it was a guinea fowl they are actually very good 'gaurs dogs' Guineas are very territorial and raise a he'll of a racket if someone trespasses into their territory. They also eat ticks and other nasty little creatures so there's less worry of ticks near your home if you've got guinea fowl.
Amrel 10
A wise man once said"... And **** roosters with their useless cockadoodledoos we invented alarn clocks we dont longer need you!"
crystalnight 19
#24 Not very wise if he likes eggs or fried chicken.
iAintEvenMad 0
7- Would you like some KFC?
magentaballoon15 8
I have a pet chicken, actually I had 4 but the rest were eaten by coyotes...They're not loud unless you have a rooster.
DiruKitty18 8
Exactly 165, I have three laying hens and they are the sweetest little girls, people wouldn't understand unless they had them.
saIty 17
Get the 20 piece. Put posters around saying you got your Chicken's family fried. However be prepared to fight your chicken to the death.
TheCylonmaster 3
Like the chicken on family guy that Peter fights with
ckr911 5
"chucky?? You in there??"
perdix 31
It's OK, KFC doesn't serve chicken anyways. Ever since they switched the name from Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC, they began to feed the public some kind of lab-synthesized protein matter.
poisonfrog7 2
Isn't that what every other fast food restaurant does as well? And I think the protein might have been synthesized from Doc's 'patients'. It's merely a theory, but I think we can at least say the food has questionable origins.
poisonfrog7 2
Oh and by the way, I love you perdix. (physically)
poisonfrog7 2
Well **** me with a lead pipe, this was supposed to be a reply to Perdix . lets go with The ChantelOwns excuse and say FML is out to get me.
DeathMaple 3
Lol =]