Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went onto my fiance's phone because I was seeing if a message was important enough go wake him up for. It wasn't important, but when I unlocked his phone, Facebook was already open with his female best friend's chat. He pretty much admitted to her that he still has feelings and that she's a better mom. FML
Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss's office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML
Today, on our honeymoon, I found out my husband brought his work laptop with him. We were supposed to go scuba diving but he skipped it for virtual meetings, then sat on his laptop until 2 a.m. He then had the nerve to be confused about why I’m mad at him and just want to go home. FML
Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to go on my boyfriend's Facebook to change his status. While in the process, his account received a message. Turns out he's planning on hooking up with his ex-girlfriend/one of my friends and is definitely over me. How's that for snooping around? FML
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Today, I found out my husband sent 3000 friend requests to random women on Facebook. He says it's no big deal and doesn't mean anything. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
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Top comments
Kmart91 0
QUICK! Shave your bristle like hair, and file down your tusks! You're boaring! But Yea, thats odd he rather do that....
Kitola 2
Dude, Mousehunt is awesome. At least my boyfriend understands that, and occasionally sounds the horn for me. :) If he's hunting for a map carrier, or the Acolyte, I totally can understand.
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Comments (91)
cocky 0
procreating? everything is more important than that. **** kids!!!
noob_mousehunter 0
11:07am I sounded the Party Horn, but my efforts were fruitless. A Briegull mouse ate a piece of cheese without setting off my trap. The power of this mouse crippled my courage, setting me back 37 points. **** THIS
nukemdukem 8
well if he was in a tournament its important for him to sound it every 15min to win a chest. If you guys don't know the game he is playing its called mousehunt an application on facebook.
andrewms 0
Duh, you stupid bitch - Facebook in general is more important than breeding retards!
Hjelloo 0
Facebook is more important because you're ugly as ****.
Cramps_fml 0
I have no idea what the hell the OP even means. "Sounding the horn" to "hunt for mice on facebook"? WHAT THE **** is that
BLNovelist 0
....so because he wanted to keep updated with his game for one night, that suddenly means your life is ******? Please, there are about 20 different things that he could do that are far, far, far worse then that.
that_guy321 2
MOUSEHUNT FTW I'm addicted too. Maybe not so much I'd get outta bed for it. But I'll still stay on those extra 5 minutes, just to sound the horn again.
tipsy337 0
Maybe if you would give him a little more ass every now and then, you wouldn't have that problem
LovingCFK 8
if you call it procreation, then you must be consumed by the need to procreate rather than have sex or make love or whatever else you want to call it. procreation is BORING. guys don't want to do it. there's nothing good in it for them. as opposed to mousehunt... which i've never heard of before, but can still say it would be WAAAY better than procreating. especially with you.