Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML
Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML
Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, I'm an insomniac. My husband knows this but still woke me up throwing a fit because he lost a round on his stupid fucking cellphone game. He has to watch a 15 second ad for another life; meanwhile, I’ll be lucky if I fall back asleep before the sun comes up. FML
Today, after a rough night, my husband's alarms started going off at 5 a.m. All 4 of them. Old town road, the Skyrim theme, that lady yelling, "I got shit to do today" and bagpipes. I'm awake. He's not. FML
Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML
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Top comments
lolatflyingducks 0
Clearly, you have never played Farmville.
chadhilliard67 0
haha, lets hope his strawberrys didnt whither
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Comments (287)
flinkpamingo 0
Hey I live on a farm and have NO desire to play Farmerville. It's a LOT of hard work. Besides, I just don't get it. I'm kind of loserly like that.
sgekko93 2
dude farmville is sooo much better than sex come on!!
FarSide 23
...as if...
RhymePrime 7
How's virginity going for you?
jac1987 0
i fking lovvvee farmville!! sorry but i probably would have done the same :)
LadyLovely08 0
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I had almost forgot to check up on my farm today! I had eggplants about to whither!
dlaw86 0
maybe when he said strawberries he actually meant man-berries!
CheshireHalli 19
Win!
Xellith 5
why do people blow off such intimate moments for ANYTHING else? I mean if i was having an intimate moment with my wife id call in sick or just ******* forget whatever it was I was gonna do.
jaybrown 0
I just upgraded to the Homestead. I totally understand the husband.
swjeemtys 0
lmao....
klutzywriter 0
I love Farmville. I hate that you have to check on the strawberries every 4 hours tho :/
Carterv 0
I've seen this before...