Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened, he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, I went to see my dad to tell him that my girlfriend of two years is pregnant. He burst out laughing, and said, "You r*tard! You've fallen for the oldest trick in the book! Caught by your dick in the hairy bear trap!" He was still laughing hysterically when I left an hour later. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
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Top comments
Mynamewontfi 40
Be glad your father's pull out game was also weak.
tigerisabelle 31
Honestly, that's hilarious. I'm sure your dad is happy for you, and, congratulations!
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Comments (78)
baxwar 15
He's just keeping up with modern jokes
sourcherrie 4
That's gold hahaha what else are dads for right?
worldclassrager 41
That's one person...everyone else is probably excited...don't take his words to heart
ostfaiz 18
Your dad critisised the the confident of your husband over Pull Out game, they discussed it earlier and now ot will be for life, both r genuinly humourous :)
c_wyld 21
Well, he's not wrong.
kevj 15
lmao he right
kerrycakes 21
inappropriate..
patrickeli 15
Must have been a deadbeat dad at some point
MrCantgetright 4
guess you never heard the expression "people that depend on the pull out method are called PARENTS"
CuriousYel1ow 13
That is amazing