Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened, he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, I went to see my dad to tell him that my girlfriend of two years is pregnant. He burst out laughing, and said, "You r*tard! You've fallen for the oldest trick in the book! Caught by your dick in the hairy bear trap!" He was still laughing hysterically when I left an hour later. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
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Top comments
Mynamewontfi 40
Be glad your father's pull out game was also weak.
tigerisabelle 31
Honestly, that's hilarious. I'm sure your dad is happy for you, and, congratulations!
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Comments (78)
CuteKoalaGirl 18
Wow, what a jerk! I'm sorry OP. Don't worry about it, those types just like to be miserable!
LilMsJinxx 1
Husband-0 Dad-1
lifes_a_b1tch 7
My father in law told me I needed to learn how to swallow, lol.
dfancy 2
Your dad is AWESOME!!
demonfacee 14
That was actually kinda funny, with the thought that he's joking.
SteakBarker 5
That's actually really funny.
alexisseeders 1
You should have said, "So is yours."
lemex243 5
I automatically pushed the "I agree" button, thinking it was the like button because that's funny right there, i tell you what
datmanbody 2
thanks for the laugh
KillerAG17 15
Dads have the best sense of humour