Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened, he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, I went to see my dad to tell him that my girlfriend of two years is pregnant. He burst out laughing, and said, "You r*tard! You've fallen for the oldest trick in the book! Caught by your dick in the hairy bear trap!" He was still laughing hysterically when I left an hour later. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
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Top comments
Mynamewontfi 40
Be glad your father's pull out game was also weak.
tigerisabelle 31
Honestly, that's hilarious. I'm sure your dad is happy for you, and, congratulations!
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Comments (78)
chxlsea 12
Omg, I'm sorry but that's hilarious
sydstoomuch 19
Lmao! That's gold!
IWishIWasObama 12
well... he's right
soulreaper12296 28
He was probably just trying to be funny about it.
DenBriZel 31
Well he's right in a way. But, still, kids are fun.
23lf 16
Unless he CHOSE to not pull out...
SexyMexi21 23
I just envisioned this and that he said it with a straight face. bout died. lol but congratulations!
detectivedipsiht 12
your dad sounds like an awesome dad who tells classic dad jokes
isabellasimone 18
Your dad is a funny guy. Congrats on the baby.
brendejafulable 41
Sperm game strong.
cornyrob 33
Perhaps Dad and hubby had a secret understanding to not get you pregnant?