Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML
Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
well it is ok cause now his shit is your shit and your shit is his shit
thebestof1984 0
If that's the only thing that's changed in your marriage, consider yourself lucky!
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Comments (203)
ojhatsman 0
isn't it?
dasfro 2
I am married and I do it all the time and so does my wife, you dont have to watch! This is not uncommon.
kcmjlopez 0
come on that's just funny.
megs1642 5
My boyfriend and I live together and we never close the door when we use the toilet... I guess we're just very comfortable with each other.
MagicMarker 0
...What exactly did you think was going to be different once you married him? People don't magically change literally overnight just because they're wearing a new ring on their finger. Going into a relationship--or even worse, a marriage--thinking "I can change him/her!" is pretty much the absolute stupidest thing you can do. Thus, YDI.
niswisk 3
what did u expect? a piece of paper that yall signed changes nothing but ur marital statues.
Brownstonius 0
Dude, I want a marital statue! I want mine in bronze!
sematariux 7
and hes exactly right (hey grammar nazis you like my lack of punctuation? yeahhhhh eat itttt)
incrediblekarma 3
#78 Godwin's Law says you lose, dude.
skyeyez9 25
My poops smell like lavendar and chamomile, growing in a green springtime meadow.
Brownstonius 0
you should put your loaves in jars and put wicks in them and sell them as scented candles! You could be rich! lol
tararaeee 0
my husband was the same way. except he also thought it was okay for him to walk into the bathroom when I was in there!
SpectSelf 0
that's funny and gross at the same time