Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML
Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
well it is ok cause now his shit is your shit and your shit is his shit
thebestof1984 0
If that's the only thing that's changed in your marriage, consider yourself lucky!
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Comments (203)
jeffdubya 0
if you can't handle something as basic as a little poop, certainly don't have children and talk to your new husband about an immediate annulment. Get real.
kaileigh10 2
what's wrong with that? I did that with the guy I lived with & we weren't married.
bitchslapped22 14
That is the only thing that's different...
FirstOfMay 2
Well, tell him you'd rather he not do that. The problem is not that you don't want to watch him take a shit - some couples are comfortable with that, but you don't have to be. It's one thing to deal with his poop if he's ill, or to deal with kid poop with him, but why deal with it if you don't have to? I'm assuming he's a healthy adult male who can take care of himself. The problem is that either you can't tell him that it bothers you, or he won't listen when you ask him nicely to close the door. If you can't communicate with him, that's a whole new set of problems. Good luck :)
poopdayz 6
He's not making her watch. Unless his toilet is in the living room and she's watching TV at the same time.
robert76 5
This explains why sex stops after marriage.
CitrusGirl 0
"love and marriage, love and marriage- go together like a horse and carriage" Not quite, eh?
perdix 31
You haven't learned yet that another difference is that wiping is no longer required. You're going to have a shitty time tossing his salad.
MrXerxes5 6
27- sorry for trying to at least make a witty comment seeing as how most people don't and tend to be super serious all the time on here.
KaintukeeBob 13
What did you expect to change after marriage? Really, life's not a video game - there's no flash of lights with a superimposed "LEVEL UP!" text. You don't get access to any bonus features for the 'Achievement - Took Wedding Vows'. If you've already been living together the only changes are in your legal status. You get a free name change out of the deal, you can now file your taxes jointly, you have full hospital visitation rights, etc. For your relationship? Nothing SHOULD change after the vows are taken. Aside from the legal portion, a wedding is just a notification to EVERYONE ELSE of what you and your spouse already know in your hearts.
lol_ironic_life 9
That's not too bad, but once you start doing laundry and find tire tracks in his boxers/briefs... It could mean he leaves the door open expecting you to wipe up after him. He just hasn't said anything yet!