Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML
Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML
Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
well it is ok cause now his shit is your shit and your shit is his shit
thebestof1984 0
If that's the only thing that's changed in your marriage, consider yourself lucky!
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Comments (203)
rnath23 4
it should be ok to shit with the door open before you get married!
bkutz 0
that's so awesome hahaha
Locoluis 15
To all those who think it's okay to stop being respectful to your significant other after you married them: Festering pile of disgusting slobs. You never deserved to find love in the first place, let alone get married. And liars; for you, engagement was just a façade, you gave them a false image of yourselves just so you could have sex with them. What the heck do you think is to be married? Yay! You got married, honeymoon is over, now what? You've got someone who loves you, and you do what? Go back to being the festering, disgusting trash you were before you decided to seduce that person and ruin their life? You all make me barf. Either get the damn bathroom door closed while you're taking a dump, or eat the contents of my stomach.
aardvarkish 17
Sit down and watch some Benny Hill. That will help you.
Locoluis 15
No. Thank you very much. Bleargh.
blondiethel 0
Calm down... no need to get angry at random people on the Internet.
incrediblekarma 3
#102 Yeah, because suitors are the only people in life that will ever lie to you. Love isn't some untouchable category where you should stop subjecting people to prudent scrutiny. Liars lie; and they aren't about to be shamed out of it. Be your own advocate, don't rely on others' consideration for your interests. Also, context and degree. If we take this FML at it's literal word -"Today"- this has happened once, maybe twice, hopefully not three times. It's not a reliable indication of the future, and it's certainly not as if he suggested before that he is the Duke of Winchester, and it turned out he was really a carnival worker. He wanted to shit with the door open, didn't ask if it was cool, it wasn't. The End. Nothing about that indicates a diabolical plan where this girls' estimation of a mate was based on ******** with the door closed or open and he shrouded his true nature. This isn't worthy of getting as pissed as you apparently are. Chill out. Sorry for the long comment everyone on apps.
yayo55 0
that's cool
Lidiya8lml 0
people do that. get over it
richardcard82 5
baskin the ambiance!!
sxe_beast 11
Give him a lumpkin.
sourcherri23xx 0
my boyfriend always ***** with the door open
machine0020 0
suck it up, smell his shit and go make him a sammich...
Ambrielle 0
...wait, it's not socially acceptable to shit with the door open? Too bad.