Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, I’m still trying desperately to explain to my boyfriend why I’m not interested in any kind of breast or nipple play. I gave birth to our son just 2 months ago and I strictly breastfeed. He insists it’s "not fair" that the baby gets the breasts all the time. Um, what? FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, and the for the past few weeks, my husband has been sulking because I’ve recently stopped breastfeeding and my boobs have started shrinking back to their original A cup. FML
Today, my husband asked with genuine concern if I would be able to breast feed our kids when they are born, since my boobs are so small. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
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Top comments
Anonnamus 0
Tell him you have a mental block against him touching your ******, because the last time he did, a nine pound person shot out if it.
DGross 8
I don't even know how to comment on this... I've heard of a milk fetish before but never a phobia of breast milk...
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Comments (200)
sika_fml 0
Of course, not only that, but it is great for the mother too. One feeding session burns the same number of calories as running 5 miles. Her uterus will return to a normal shape and heal faster. She will lose the weight faster.
CornCob_McGee 3
sorry to say this snickerdoodles but breastfeeding doesn't result in better behavior or intelligence. it has to do with the surroundings while growing up. the fact that those two go hand in hand is merely coincidental. to an extent
buggybeauty 0
why did you even marry this asshole?
richp 0
I drank straight from the tap when my wife was breast feeding. very very hot.
Scorpio1989 0
fyl op/ :(
Heavyrocklegend 3
wat a ******* prick
lauramac23 0
Question for sika, do you have children?
nikalb3 0
I dont
MidgetMonster 0
the only time a baby is allergic to breast milk is when the mother consumes cow milk, because many babies are colic, in fact, most humans in general can't digest milk. duh.
MidgetMonster 0
cow milk proteins build brawn, breast milk builds brain. that is simply a fact. watch dr Walter veith for a 90 minute explanation online if you don't believe it
theanonimouse 0
That must be why I'm so incredibly strong and stupid! Oh, you and your book learnins. :D (Besides, who feeds their babies cow milk?)