Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, I’m still trying desperately to explain to my boyfriend why I’m not interested in any kind of breast or nipple play. I gave birth to our son just 2 months ago and I strictly breastfeed. He insists it’s "not fair" that the baby gets the breasts all the time. Um, what? FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, and the for the past few weeks, my husband has been sulking because I’ve recently stopped breastfeeding and my boobs have started shrinking back to their original A cup. FML
Today, my husband asked with genuine concern if I would be able to breast feed our kids when they are born, since my boobs are so small. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
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Top comments
Anonnamus 0
Tell him you have a mental block against him touching your ******, because the last time he did, a nine pound person shot out if it.
DGross 8
I don't even know how to comment on this... I've heard of a milk fetish before but never a phobia of breast milk...
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Comments (200)
sabrinaacrow 26
Is he lactose intolerant?
daveleo101 11
you need to breast feed your hold for the first 6 months so that they get the same immunities that you have, unless you use a breast pump
ByeTech 10
Butt the **** out, everyone. It's her body, she doesn't have to breastfeed if she doesn't want to. There's more than enough safe and perfectly healthy baby formula on the market. I bet 90% of these "you have to breastfeed" comments are coming from men or whipped housewives. Mind your own business.
AwkwardKarma 18
**** you. I am a female. I believe in natural living because this leads to a longer and happier life. It is selfish to not provide to your children the milk that was made for them. Females have breasts for that one purpose. Not to attract the opposite sex. Formula may be safe but it can never provide the necessary nutrients that breast milk can provide.
ringaringaring 16
I was never breastfed due to being lactose intolerant, and I can inform you all that I am perfectly healthy. :/
chelseaclaire 12
Why don't you breast feed your child. You're only hurting them
AwkwardKarma 18
Why wouldn't you breast feed your own child?
a_pretty_potato 14
I have a breast milk fetish but I've never heard of a fear of breast milk.