Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, I’m still trying desperately to explain to my boyfriend why I’m not interested in any kind of breast or nipple play. I gave birth to our son just 2 months ago and I strictly breastfeed. He insists it’s "not fair" that the baby gets the breasts all the time. Um, what? FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, and the for the past few weeks, my husband has been sulking because I’ve recently stopped breastfeeding and my boobs have started shrinking back to their original A cup. FML
Today, my husband asked with genuine concern if I would be able to breast feed our kids when they are born, since my boobs are so small. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
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Top comments
Anonnamus 0
Tell him you have a mental block against him touching your ******, because the last time he did, a nine pound person shot out if it.
DGross 8
I don't even know how to comment on this... I've heard of a milk fetish before but never a phobia of breast milk...
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Comments (200)
JJwoz 0
This is so ******* stupid...unless any of you have had children you have no right to tell her what to do with her child. And who cares if she didn't give a reason why she wasn't breastfeeding..this is a random website where strangers are looking at life stories not sitting around a table with a bunch of your closest friends...And *Snickerdoodles* you have one hell of a mouth for a Nazi 16 yr.old. It isn't any of your business. She had a kid and decided not to breastfeed so obviously she did the research. All of you need to mind your own ******* business and get a life.
City_at_war 0
Obviously he's not scared of HIV. They just had a kid. They had to have sex. Ya dig?
daeemann 1
Ah your husband is dumb. I would think it's kinda sexy. He's lame.
kruschev33 0
oh so you are one of those selfish bitches that doesn't breastfeed because you don't care about your baby why not kill several people because people like you are the cause of the human races down fall your son will be more unhealthy and less intelligent he can thank you for that
sceptic 1
**** you for not breastfeeding me!
kiss_1214 17
My bf of two months asked me if I was gona breast feed out child.......I have no intention of having a child at my age....
dissdawg 5
Even if you didn't breast feed, you'd sill have breast milk so he is somewhat justified in his fear. But you should be breast feeding either way so, YDI
fml_mu 10
Its not a good thing to not breastfeed your child... You can risk yourself having breast cancer! :/
mikeawesome 0
Breast is best lol
meso222 8
Yeah ive never seena kid lose their shit and act like a brat for more than a minute wothout a parent allowing it... The childs behavior is solely based on how they are raised, with some consideration given to any special needs they may have. But what they kid ate as an infant will NOT make him good or bad. Please bring evidence to support your bullshit or stop trolling. This has been a public service announcement: stop being a douche or do not EVER reproduce.