Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, I’m still trying desperately to explain to my boyfriend why I’m not interested in any kind of breast or nipple play. I gave birth to our son just 2 months ago and I strictly breastfeed. He insists it’s "not fair" that the baby gets the breasts all the time. Um, what? FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, and the for the past few weeks, my husband has been sulking because I’ve recently stopped breastfeeding and my boobs have started shrinking back to their original A cup. FML
Today, my husband asked with genuine concern if I would be able to breast feed our kids when they are born, since my boobs are so small. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
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Top comments
Anonnamus 0
Tell him you have a mental block against him touching your ******, because the last time he did, a nine pound person shot out if it.
DGross 8
I don't even know how to comment on this... I've heard of a milk fetish before but never a phobia of breast milk...
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Comments (200)
Compass 0
That's exactly why he thinks the milk will spurt out. Didn't you watch the episode of Family Guy where Louis weens Stewie? Her breasts get engorged. He thinks they will spurt milk under pressure.
Evesmom 0
You guys are all a bunch of idiots. Breastfeeding is the best gift you could EVER give your children and if your husband/boyfriend/ cared about you at all, he would encourage you to breastfeed and not complain about having to abstain from playing with your boobs. Our first daughter is about turn 4 and we also have a 5 month old. He hasn't touched my boobs in 4 years. He doesn't care.
GoddessDigi 12
Umm, I don't see it as him complaining, how did you get that? She's the one complaining that he doesn't touch them.
sweatteaforme001 0
I never heard anywhere that a woman who's breastfeeding should avoid having her breasts touched. OP's husband needs to build a bridge and get over it. And there are many reasons for a woman not choosing to breastfeed, and we don't know what hers are, so lets not be so quick to judge.
iggywig 0
Wow, the judgement stick's really out on this one, isn't it? Breastfeeding is one of the most natural things in the world, and it is extremely beneficial for the baby to have at least the colostrum at the beginning if nothing else. It can aid the child's immunity, bond with their mother and general health. HOWEVER, there are problems that can arise by breastfeeding; mastitis (infection of the breast), HIV/AIDS, failure to produce enough milk, child won't take to breast and other things. If a mother would suffer, then there's no point doing it. And you certainly shouldn't feed your child with mastitis! The way I personally see it is that if you can breastfeed, brilliant. If you can't, and breast pumps are not an option, then it's got to be bottle fed! I had the latter due to a problem with my facial structure and I turned out great!
BLNovelist 0
Amen. Another reason a mother might not is medication in general - I take medication for epilepsy, and if I were to ever have a child, I would not be allowed to breastfeed because of it.
morgan020 0
most babies today that are diagnosed with being allergic to breastmilk and put on soy milk are not actually allergic to breastmilk. there is an underlying issue but the drs are too lazy to figure out what it is so they switch to soy and the problem appears to go away until the child is older.
morgan020 0
when I was born I had a reflux problem and my dr told my mom to switch me to soy so it would fix the problem. she didn't though she took me to a different doctor and they gave me some reflux medicine. however I was breastfed til almost 14 months old and I don't see myself as being any smarter or healthier because of it.
morgan020 0
I was always sick as a child and yes I had straight A's in school but so did everyone else at my school. I breastfed my son who is now 2 and while he knows what things are he won't use words to tell you what they are called yet I have friends who never breastfed their kids and they started talking much earlier than my son. also some women aren't comfortable popping their boob out in public to feed their child so they opt for bottles.
Papacujo 0
And forming uneducated opinions by age 4.
breezer_fml 0
#155 FTW ^^ @Snickerdoodles: Reading by the age of one? Suuuuure.
Reaperonin 1
you FAIL for not breast feeding.
Jasper8713 2
To everyone talking about how whole "breast feeding raises intelligence" thing.... No, it doesn't. There is a correlation between breast feeding and higher intelligence, but that does NOT mean that one causes the other. The reason that breast fed kids tend to have higher intelligence is because people OF higher intelligence and people of the upper/middle classes who can afford to send their children to better schools etc., tend to breast feed. Likewise, those of lower socioeconomic status and lower intelligence tend to formula feed. Mind you, this does NOT happen in 100% of cases, naturally. It is simply a trend. That is the only reason breast fed babies tend to be more intelligent.
birds_fml 7
That is so weird. You'd think that poor women would be MORE likely to breastfeed, because it's free, and rich women would be more likely to formula feed, because they have more money and it's more convenient.
NoteMyGrin 0
But it's also possible that a poor woman has to work and gets a shorter maternity leave, giving her little time to sit down with her child.
NoteMyGrin 0
But it's also possible that a poor woman has to work and gets a shorter maternity leave, giving her little time to sit down with her child.
Jasper8713 2
I agree with you... I'm not actually sure WHY low SES women are less likely to breast feed... It could be due to lack of education about the benefits (better nutrition from breast milk)... But could also be related to not wanting the hassle of it, or not having time for it.
buggybeauty 0
what a wimp! he shouldn't be allowed to breed if he can't handle that stuff.
blastvortex 4
Unless you're HIV-positive, shame on you for wasting all of that wonderful milk! =p
israelnotjacob 20
You should have breastfed your child. Unless you have some specific condition where you've been told not to, it's been proven that's healthier for the kid so they can develop more immunity early. Your husband is pretty lame though if he's afraid of a little milk out of breasts. Some guys actually like to get a taste of the stuff, lol.
KamilleBlack 3
I'm not saying you deserve it but u should really have breast fed ur baby. I mean, the milk is there for the baby, not to make you a few cup sizes bigger. I'm not judging, I just don't understand why you wouldn't breat feed ur baby. U should have breast fed him for the first 6 months. There's no going back now but if u have another baby, breast feed it. Unless theres a reason--other than discomfort--why u didn't breast feed the first. I don't see how that's an FML tho. No body wants body fluid being squirted in their face...
lendahandmanda 0
so, what your saying is you think she didn't breast feed to make her boobs bigger for a few months? Wow. I'm not even going to be sarcastic when I say I'm nearly positive that's not the reason she didn't breast feed. Perhaps it's the opposite, some women after getting breast implants aren't able to breast feed, or check out the massive list of other viable reasons people have stated.