Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Today, I’m still trying desperately to explain to my boyfriend why I’m not interested in any kind of breast or nipple play. I gave birth to our son just 2 months ago and I strictly breastfeed. He insists it’s "not fair" that the baby gets the breasts all the time. Um, what? FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, and the for the past few weeks, my husband has been sulking because I’ve recently stopped breastfeeding and my boobs have started shrinking back to their original A cup. FML
Today, my husband asked with genuine concern if I would be able to breast feed our kids when they are born, since my boobs are so small. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
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Top comments
Anonnamus 0
Tell him you have a mental block against him touching your ******, because the last time he did, a nine pound person shot out if it.
DGross 8
I don't even know how to comment on this... I've heard of a milk fetish before but never a phobia of breast milk...
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Comments (200)
startafire 0
What the ****? How do you know she didn't breastfeed before? Besides, maybe she has some medical reason for not doing it longer or at all.
Fedor_is_KING 0
Mmmm, breast milk.
Anonnamus 0
I was allergic to breastmilk. I like to think that I turned out just fine. I'm just as intellijintish as da nexttt purseon.
CallMeHush 1
What a waste, all the toys finally work as designed and he doesn't want to play with them.
strandedinalimo 0
Lol to #17, but really I wish I had been breastfed (even though I despise my mother and the thought of putting my mouth on her nipples makes me shiver). I don't think I'm unintelligent but I'm allergic to a hell of a lot of foods and I know that can be a cause. More reason to damn her!
DGross 8
I nose, may soling half none surfed veer mucho (I know, my spelling has not suffered very much) ...Sorry you had to sit through that Snickerdoodles Breastfeeding is a decision each woman should be free to make (after consulting with a credible healthcare professional obviously :-P)
Smackaho 0
snickerdoodles don't worry about it noone will ever put there babies in you
lonely_heart_89 6
being in the childcare profession, i can tell you that breastfeeding also builds up the bond a mother has with her baby. so not only is breastfeeding important for the baby nutrient-wise, but it's important so that they can form that special bond with their mother.
lilubird 0
^^^^^^^^^ aaaaaaaamamzing.
smr167 6
rofl
sim81788 0
neither me or my brother were breastfed and we are both, and have always been, very healthy. neither of us has ever really been sick and we are both very intelligent. and guess what... we have a good relationship with our mother... you don't need to breast feed to spend time with your children
harmony88 0
The connection it builds is a result of oxytocin, released by stimulation of the breasts. It is also more of a "touch my child and die" connection than a "mother of the year" connection; i.e. a mother who breast feeds might be capable of heroic feats should her child be in grave danger.
junker311 0
Just because a mom doesn't breastfeed does not mean we wouldn't kill or die for our children! You're ridiculous!
Anonnamus 0
There is nothing "seriously wrong" with me. My mother was told by her doctor to stop breastfeeding because I was unable to keep the milk down. The doctor also informed her that I was probably allergic. Granted, I may have just been sensitive to certain proteins in the milk, possibly resulting from the type of foods she ate. My point is, not all children will suffer from not being breastfed, regardless of the reason behind it.
makeba 0
Babies cannot be allergic to breastmilk, unless the mother is following an unhealthy diet. Breastfeeding is not an option, it's a must and babies should be breastfed until they're at least 6 months old.