Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML
Today, my house was broken into. I'm really poor and don't have a television or nice clothing, so they just dumped my trash all over the house and stole my one loaf of bread that was supposed to last me for the week. FML
Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML
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Top comments
Awkward_Science 2
They should've just moved everything around without taking anything as they did, but instead leave a note saying "you'll never figure out what we took". The years of therapy you would have to go through afterward would teach you to get better things.
soccergurrll 8
FYL, OP when a thief doesn't even want your stuff
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Comments (136)
Ilikeurfmls 13
Does this remind anyone else of George Garland and the stuff?
DocBastard 40
Nah, that note was just an excuse. They were Canadian burglars, so they just felt guilty about making a mess and were too polite to steal anything.
Dracoboxer357 36
13- I'd be proud of that fact if it were actually true. ;P
zee12101 11
It's your stuff and you like it. Doesn't matter if they thought it was shitty. Besides it's kinda good thing because they couldn't steal anything.
BradTheBrony 19
Someone else made the same comment and got buried in shit for it. But NOOOO, DocBastard says it and is praised like a god! There may be JUST A TINY BIT OF BIAS HERE.
Xeserx 8
XD
Myo_fml 20
Such an informative statement you've included here.
moneycow12 5
Well those are nice theifs
acidkitten 14
*thieves.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
If you don't like my shitty stuff, stay out of my shitty house.
Dracoboxer357 36
18- I used to live in a somewhat bad part of Winnipeg, where getting your truck broken into was a weekly event for me. I didn't have much of anything of value in there, but having it locked up seemed to present a challenge to the local thieves, as if there Must be gold in it if it's locked! So, they busted my door locks, my door, side window, whatever it took it rummage it and leave. :p So I tried a new strategy: I left it unlocked and I left a couple of dimes and such in the ashtray. Weekend comes and goes, truck's fine. Change was gone, but being unlocked, they simply peeked in, were thrilled for the 30 or 40 cents and left, happy campers. They even made a point of closing the door nicely so the weather didn't ruin the seats. ;P So, shitty truck, no gold, no securing it, no damage. Go figure. Just sharing. ;P
DocBastard 40
Try that technique where I come from and you'll likely find your seats missing, urine in your air vents, and a family of rats living in the trunk.
ImmaB3AST 7
Doc- you come from Uganda too?
coughyochick 7
27- South Central
darkcrystal87 7
25 - and that would be when ya grab your trusty rifle, camp out on the porch, ol' bird dog by your side ready to go and just wait. Don't forget the beer, that's mission critical. If ya got a good sturdy tree, throw up that tree stand, bet ya they ain't looking up there.
LunaTics_fml 3
Omg I just bought a new (used) car and every time I turn on the ac I smell pee. Now I know why
mhopper 13
The nerve! Thank goodness your stuff isn't up to their standards! Hope they don't steal your car on the way out!
N3766 20
Do you feel lucky they didn't take anything or feel bad because they didn't want to take anything?
coughyochick 7
Are you that lame that a thief hates your stuff?
perdix 31
I break into houses and leave a note that says, "I stole everything you own and replaced it with exact replicas."
coughyochick 7
What if they are the owner of a sex toy shop? Can't explain that, can you?
perdix 31
Yes, I can. I swap their items with those I got from a competitor's store, carefully transferring bodily fluids between toys so each victim gets an "exact" replica.
QQMorePlox 18
36 clearly didn't think that through
frackhappens 3
Bwahahahahaha! I would have been pissed, but then laughed about it.
Pandacupcakelove 26
I wouldn't laugh... It would still creep me out that somebody had broken in to my house.
Pandacupcakelove 26
into* my bad.