Today, after a dangerous and painful emergency caesarean, I received an SMS from a guy I turned down for a date, saying he was crying and so excited to meet 'our' baby. I've barely even shaken hands with this guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my baby daddy texted me after months of me being alone and pregnant, asking if we could hang out. I'm on bed rest, and almost due. FML
Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I saw his newly updated Facebook status, which read, "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML
Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
Today, I was texting my crush. He wasn’t really into the texts because he was barely replying, until he texted back calling me "Baby." I got so excited, I almost cried, until he corrected himself and said that the text wasn’t for me. I cried. FML
Today, I found out I’m pregnant and got excited. We’d never discussed kids before since we’ve only been dating a year, but I was so happy… until I told him, and his face just fell. I left after he drank himself unconscious and I’m now at my mum's house FML
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Top comments
jbuckets_404 39
Is he willing to sign the birth certificate to provide full child support payments for 18 years?
RichardPencil 32
Did his hand feel kinda sticky when you shook it?
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Comments (11)
RichardPencil 32
Did his hand feel kinda sticky when you shook it?
PenguinPal3017 19
Now that's what I call a sticky situation!
jbuckets_404 39
Is he willing to sign the birth certificate to provide full child support payments for 18 years?
tounces7 28
Not. Worth. It.
Arokthis 21
Talk to the cops about this guy. A restraining order may be necessary.
tounces7 28
No judge is going to give a restraining order for just that.
kiaora_fml 11
Talk to the police and get restraining order immediately
maroongrad 13
Sic either your parents or your girlfriend's parents on him. Or both. Dead. Serious. Fathers do not take kindly to people stalking their daughters. Mothers have plenty of experience in spotting creeps. They're all going to be protective of the new mother. Pass this on to them and enjoy your baby :) Sorry that the birth was so difficult for you but I hope that all turned out well for you!
raven_of_azarath 35
Was this man by any chance a stoner who owned a Great Dane (aka Shaggy)?
EmDizzle2007 28
"SMS"