Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML
Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML
Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML
Today, my horse, who has been nothing but gentle for 27 years, kicked me right in the knee on my last vacation day. It's so bad, I can hardly sleep or sit down on the toilet. Tomorrow I go back to work, which involves lots of walking, sitting down and getting back up, as well as lifting heavy stuff. FML
Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML
Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML
Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Gack! We don't know the OP's gender, so it's hard to make a fitting comment. This is why we stick to cars.
stormchaser24 24
Ouch, FYL. Hope you feel better soon.
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Comments (149)
stormchaser24 24
Ouch, FYL. Hope you feel better soon.
TheGodDamnJoker 9
hopefully OP isn't a male. If he is, he might want to ask the doctor if he is still able to reproduce. xD
meihua 19
It would be just as bad if it were a female! There is ... An... Uh ...hole... Which can be ripped open
blackman100 20
But it is so much easier to damage parts if you are a male. The likelihood of tearing that hole from falling on a saddle is slim compared to bruising or popping a ball.
missamberrose 17
Actually I know of women who have had that hole ripped open due to evil saddle horns combined with spooked horses. Makes me shudder thinking about it
buckstop1 37
Actually, I'm nit quite sure which is worse. For guys, there is no muscle or any sort tissue to absorb some of the impact, just a thin layer of skin.
NurseJonathan 9
Dear lord! I'm hoping this would wear off. Perhaps best you do not have any flings with the horse for awhile.
natsaysheyyy 16
OP, are you serious! SOCIALIZATION! You should have exposed everything to this horse that it could possibly come into contact with in it's life by now. If she's old enough to ride, you have had plenty of time to expose her to the world and reward her for calm behavior.
rocketiquette 20
You did read the "new" part right? And anything can spook a horse that you'd think shouldn't. You can get spooked by things and noises, so why can't a horse?
crazytwinsmom 25
OP said 'new horse', so they haven't had them for all that socialization time. Read before lashing out.
NurseJonathan 9
*sniiiiiiiff* Mmmmmm. Get that new horse smell.
RedPillSucks 33
Depends on which end you sniff from...
mansen 15
#18, have you been around a wide variety of horses??? One of my dads team roping horses that could be ridden in parades, used in rodeos, cow cutting, etc, so in general pretty placid and socialized, had a weird thing about long waving grass shadows in the distance. it was just his quirk. Also horses can get startled or spooked just like humans when something unexpected and loud comes out of nowhere and scares them. They are not complete placid, unemotional drones. Any horse no matter how well trained and socialized is going to spook if say....someone hid behind a corner and suddenly jumped out in its face waving arms and screaming. person may get some hooves in face as horse rears, but horse will spook.
Zack6849 8
perhaps some ice is in order
euphoricness 28
Or a wheel chair - once you go horse... You're full of remorse? ...
gc327072 31
Once you get bucked, you're ******.
TrueTriage 16
Everything has to run it's course just watch out because you already the the source of your pain as it radiates through the veins of your body so remember grasp the reigns and try to Be careful
gc327072 31
^ooh, a rap! That's better than a pun. Kudos.
Zack6849 8
get well soon OP, hopefully no permanent damage was done.
NoDontKillMe 19
78 What?
adameeo 21
Ouch! Sounds like a spark of bad luck op. Hope no permanent damage was done and that you're back to riding soon!
little_star78 13
At least you didn't fall and land on your head, i've had that happen before but still fyl
Reaper1984 13
5 You've never really ridden till you till you've fallen off. However that has to be the worst case of luck to be thrown up and land on the saddle horn
ShyAnn29 15
I bet that hurt like hell! I've been bucked off a horse many times, the worst was flipping over the horses head landing on my back on the ground. I hope you are ok OP!
ShyAnn29 15
5, you are right!
BellaBelle_fml 23
When my dad was young, around 6-7, his family bought a pony for them to ride. The seller didn't tell them that she was pregnant. My dad was riding her pretty far away and when he nudged her sides to go faster. It hurt her so she just took off super fast and bucked. Somehow the saddle wasn't on properly and it loosened. He and the saddle started sliding down under the pony. All my dad could think of is his father saying, "No matter what, you hold onto that pony!" So he just held on for dear life and was dragged a good distance. When the pony finally stopped he had no other choice than to walk her all the way back home. His mom had to help him remove dozens of stones, twigs, and other debris embedded into his back with tweezers. He still has the scars and it's actually caused a lot of back acne for him. Poor guy.
little_star78 13
I got my foot caught in the sit-up the last time my stallion tried to buck me off. That was a trip, there wasn't much of me dragging on the ground though and it didn't take me too long to get free. Scared the hell out of my mom tho.
little_star78 13
*stirrup…stupid auto correct
dreamtosing 15
I had to jump off a horse once when he refused a jump. It was that or get scraped off the saddle. I've had my fair share of falls, but for 10 years of riding, nothing bad.
fina444 10
Feel better op
ChenEighty 20
Ouch. Hope you feel better soon, OP. That's a true series of unfortunate events. o.O
perdix 31
Gack! We don't know the OP's gender, so it's hard to make a fitting comment. This is why we stick to cars.
SWC_Penguin 17
Yes, I feel that a FML that literally includes the phrase "between my legs" should include the poster's gender.
honestjane 22
Um, that's a pretty sensitive area for the ladies, too. Any girl riding a bicycle that's had a mishap and wracked her nether bits on the frame can vouch for that. (Also why it sucks to ride a boney horse bareback)
TheNewGuy03 29
Thanks, Perdix! You've spawned a new research topic for me -- injuries from horses vs. injuries from cars.
SWC_Penguin 17
#44, are you talking to me or #8, because neither of us said it wasn't a sensitive area for the ladies. Not sure who you're talking to.
RedPillSucks 33
I think she was just making commentary, not trying to rebut a statement. Did anyone think that OP could have landed rectally on the horn??
FightMyLiger 19
#62 while wearing ass-less chaps?... Nope, didn't think of that.
OctoberJade 12
I can second that, there's a horse I ride who has got the boniest withers EVER.
TwoOneFive 11
Getting kick hurts more, at least you didn't fall off after and get kicked
Ultimate_No 7
Explain to me how a horse is going to kick someone while they're riding it.
Llama_Face89 34
Well first they fall off.
Reaper1984 13
#9 OP said nothing about the horse kicking him/her at all.
HowieDoIt 21
Save a cowboy: don't ride horses. Too many possible crotch injuries for a mode of transportation.
monnanon 14
i always thought the phrase was save a horse ride a cowboy
NurseJonathan 9
Yes. But from his last statement, he was joking about crotch injuries.