Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML
Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some Lean Pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML
Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML
Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Blasphemy! You forgot the cocoa-puffs.
DocBastard 40
What the hell is wrong with you? You consider THAT food? How could you possibly live on that crap? You clearly forgot the Oreos and beer.
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Comments (151)
mooseantlers 1
there may be a reason you dont have kids..
Omniprism 15
Sounds like mine and I'm 35. That's the fun part about being an adult. Though I'm thinking a little fruit and vegis should be in there. C'mon fruit is natures candy.
undertaker1099 2
I see nothing wrong with this whatsoever
Soloman212 28
I don't think a heart stroke is a thing. (Strokes involve blood not reaching the brain, not the heart.)
buckdharma 38
Op, you are missing protein from your diet which are found in meat and eggs. I like Slim Jim, (meat is listed in the ingredients!) and Cadbury Creme Eggs, (eggs don't have a long shelf life, but these do!)
stupidbox 9
my sister is like that lately...she studied and studied and..now she got a job and doesn't know what to do with herself,she eats a lot,and our dad isn't helping with "are you sure you wanna eat that?" comments.. :( i want her to be happy
gAt_d 26
I would much rather have captain crunch oops all berry and zebra cakes, but hey different strokes for different folks!
PieknyCzlowiek 7
hey if you are short on cash thats understandable
LifeFailure 16
This is not a FML! This is pure happiness in a shopping cart. I'm also 25 with no kids and my shopping trips consist of exactly this, plus ice cream! I still manage to stay very thin so I can get away with this easily, so as long as your health isn't suffering from it, you'll be fine. I ALWAYS complain that I can never buy "REAL" foods because they expire before I can ever finish it, everything is made to serve 4+ people. TV dinners save my life!
154rct 7
I see no problem here.