Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML
Today, I bought tomato sauce and tomato paste to make rigatoni. Forgot to buy the meat and the pasta. FML
Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML
Today, the only food in the house is canned beans and vegetables that I can’t stand. My dad refuses to go to the store because, "we can't afford it." Meanwhile, my stepmom just came home with a brand new Gucci purse. FML
Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML
Today, we're visiting my wife's extended family. They're nice people but they eat like crap; I haven't had a single fresh vegetable or fruit in days, and everything they cook is overcooked and smothered in cheap sauce or "seasonings." My stomach is about to go on strike. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend spent forty minutes making pasta sauce when we had a perfectly good jar of pasta sauce in the pantry. FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, I spent an hour making my favorite work lunches, then portioning them out so I could have them all week. I later came home to a pile of empty containers. My girlfriend said, "Sorry, I got the munchies. Also, can you please do the dishes?" FML
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Top comments
GhostFox 34
Some people can't be trusted to shop without a list. My mom is one of them, your husband is another.
BurnInDemonFire 39
First of all, how much money did he have? Secondly, how much did he spend on the tomatoes? Thirdly, if he didn't spend all the money, what happened to the rest of it? Finally, what made him think the only thing he needed to buy was tomatoes? Was he trying to be funny, cheap, or is he an idiot?
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Comments (7)
GhostFox 34
Some people can't be trusted to shop without a list. My mom is one of them, your husband is another.
Sinshine 28
It's ketchup week!
BurnInDemonFire 39
First of all, how much money did he have? Secondly, how much did he spend on the tomatoes? Thirdly, if he didn't spend all the money, what happened to the rest of it? Finally, what made him think the only thing he needed to buy was tomatoes? Was he trying to be funny, cheap, or is he an idiot?
shannon2348 14
So go buy some food. What is wrong with you? ydi
RichardPencil 32
Virgin Bloody Marys for the whole family!
Jonkbaby 23
bone smack the teeth!