Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML
Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some Lean Pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML
Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML
Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Blasphemy! You forgot the cocoa-puffs.
DocBastard 40
What the hell is wrong with you? You consider THAT food? How could you possibly live on that crap? You clearly forgot the Oreos and beer.
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Comments (151)
skellingtonfart 18
#138, I've tried easy mac, twinkies, pop tarts and Popsicles are the "ice lollies" right? Yeah, I've had them too. Where have you been looking?! #38 Biltong is the best, we have it here in Australia.
MarkToast 19
the kid food is always the best
sarahbevan20 11
....and zero ***** given!
djsammyc 19
you forgot kitkats
mei3r 4
no Poptarts in germany :
jonahwalzer 12
I don't see why this is a FML! I wish i could buy all of that!
False_Stupidity 42
You forgot Oreos an Bacon! You forgot the bacon!.. How could you forget BACON!!!
PunkySpunky78 15
To the op It is ok I'm 35 f and I drink juicy juice and eat danimals yogurt and other kids food stuff and visit kids online games like free realms and wizards 101 and pirate 101 and poptropica
heasleybits 6
That should last about a day
FrankHotpants 31
There's a time and place for everything, I think just about everyone has eaten those items, hopefully that's not the only thing your diet consist of. Male or female you should know how to cook by now.