Today, my grocery shopping consisted of Poptarts, SpaghettiOs, Lucky Charms, Popsicles, Easy Mac, and Twinkies. I'm a 25-year-old woman with no kids. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML
Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some Lean Pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML
Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML
Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Blasphemy! You forgot the cocoa-puffs.
DocBastard 40
What the hell is wrong with you? You consider THAT food? How could you possibly live on that crap? You clearly forgot the Oreos and beer.
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Comments (151)
Natetc13 6
Sounds like a college graduate to me.
SgtAssCheeks 21
... and heart strokes!
peacejunior 12
In my on calls days I survive on snickers bar, dew and more snickers. They make me forget about the lack of sleep and tiredness. Just like my own beautiful haven.
AshAshyAshley 7
I'm 22, & I'm the same way, my boyfriend says I eat like a child.
doglover100 29
You forgot the ice cream!
FancyBoxUnicorn 9
How exactly is that a bad thing?
darryaz 9
Enjoy it while you can. In a few years your metabolism will make eating like that impossible.
harmtouch16 11
I have 4 children and never buy crap like that.
QueenSaru 28
NEVER? I'm not advocating an entire diet of unhealthy food (I'm 30, no kids, and I do my best to eat as properly as I can), but your kids will not explode if they have a poptart once in a while or some Kraft Dinner on a Friday night. The key to anything is moderation. Good (healthy) eating habits are amazing things to instil in your kids, and so is teaching them how to cook. But completely cutting them off from anything remotely "bad for them" is likely to cause them to go hogwild when they move out, because they'll want to try all the things you NEVER let them have at home.
Wierdotron 5
Lol, There's nothing wrong with that. Everyone has an inner child. I'm 19 and while I intend to mature, I also Intend to keep my inner child so I don't forget how to have fun.
Folly_fml 12
Tastes like a Saturday morning.