Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML
Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML
Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
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Top comments
SomethingWitty 0
"...then Grandma asked to join. FML"
LyuboLove 0
i still wonder why people don't take more precautions when there's a possibility of someone being around who could potentially walk in on you... you definitely 100% deserved that one
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Comments (156)
betterthanthou 0
lol at #127. I know when I act holier-than-thou, it is because I am. I am better than you. You will have to learn to deal with it. The reason you get mad when people like me act like we are better than you is because you realize we are right and you are wrong. It must suck to know that you are living a life of gross perversions. Eww.
brizzibri217 0
Holy Shit!!!! life with grandma will never be the same
ebbasaur 0
yea, I'm with #3. then what happened? haha.
wowfmlife 0
HAHAHAHA wow! people are sooo stupid! i was the #1 comment and i said "i guess you should have listened to grandma" haha i love how idiotic our world is...
nsforever138 0
threesome?
ifuckenhateyou 0
omg that's fuckn classic!!! omg how funny!!!! sucks for your ass haha jay kay
cmillertime7 0
You know, her room might not HAVE a lock. Mine doesn't.
powa2metal 0
pics or it nevar happened
katie_bby 0
AHAHAHAHAH! ROFLMFAO!
nofeckingfair 0
she thought she was safe, and a lot of houses don't have doors with locks on them or ones that work. cut her some slack, VERY embarrassing position and not really her fault... FHL