Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML
Today, at the supermarket, I bought a cake and had my friend's name put on it. It wasn't anyone's birthday, I just wanted to feel less ashamed about buying a whole cake for myself. FML
Today, I bought a birthday card, wrote a long message, then sealed the envelope. At the party, I handed it over and immediately noticed the name on the front. I'd bought two cards at the same time and given her the one meant for someone else, my secret crush. I fled as soon as I could. FML
Today, I finally caved and told a friend about my suicide note. She demanded that I promise I wouldn't follow through, but how could I when I was writing it no more than a few minutes before I joined a call with her? The funny thing is, most of that note was me trying to comfort my friends and family for when I'm gone. FML
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML
Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML
Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they'd actually called up. FML
Today, I spent like $120 on Mother’s Day flowers and a big bundle of balloons for my wife. On the way to the car, the balloons detached from the string and floated away. FML
Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML
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Top comments
cubfan 4
I bet you...died...of embarrassment
Verst 16
Nobody should know that it was you except you and him, right? Mistakes happen.
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Comments (80)
cubfan 4
I bet you...died...of embarrassment
lex1459 38
She probably thought it was funny! Well... Hopefully, that is.
QueenJay81 13
clever!!!!
NeatNit 33
oh my.... I wonder if that was a mistake. either way, OP, you could always say that you knew someone with the same name as you and they'd died.
UnoriGal 17
Yes, because women can't like other women, how could they?
ViRepz 28
For one theres no 'real' way of them having coitus.
AnOriginalName 19
#62, you clearly haven't watched enough ****.
lex1459 38
#62 shut up Sheldon cooper
j_729 18
38 - Yeah op is a girl. Does it really matter? No.
Verst 16
Nobody should know that it was you except you and him, right? Mistakes happen.
Pwib 14
Her*
Verst 16
You and Her* My bad.
courtney680 17
Hopefully OP didn't know anyone else there..
squiggles159 5
um it's actually her and her.. look at it?
ikilledaman 9
No, 46, I'm pretty sure in this context it's you and her.
Ki11erC 18
48 - I think they are more pointing out its two females rather than correcting "you and her".
MikaykayUnicorn 36
After finding this out, watch as people freak out because 'op is a girl who likes a girl'
watermelon4 24
OP's crush is a girl, if you read it correctly ;)
stephenseiber1 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It sucks that your depressed op. Things will get better. That dark place isn't much fun... Hopefully this girl will help
Joshwarrior 39
Umm I think it was more for the cause than rather for himself.
tyler384 6
Pretty sure it was a sarcastic respinse. Do people not get sarcasm anymore?
esines 9
That did not seem the least bit sarcastic
sarah1029_fml 7
#32 *herself
Joshwarrior 39
Yeah my bad I noticed to late the female symbol and it wouldn't let me edit it :/
jasmine2301 25
too*
Joshwarrior 39
@71: ass.
Ms_ValS 27
Not a good sign. Don't sweat it. Just a misunderstanding.
MoronsAccount1 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Might as well follow through, I mean, I'm just saying... All of that for nothing? I'd feel bad.
MoronsAccount1 12
People aren't going to take this one lightly, I just know it. lol.
lex1459 38
Wow.
Livelife121 30
Even if you are joking, what you said was very distasteful and rude.
MoronsAccount1 12
Aaaaaaand here we go.
SunAndMoon427 12
Well don't joke about things that cause real pain and you won't have people telling you what a douche you are.
MoronsAccount1 12
Personally, I think you people are all hypocrites, to be honest. I believe the only reason you're so sensitive and offended by 'suicide' is because it's a "mainstream trend", and lets be realistic here, if it wasn't mainstream, you wouldn't give a shit. I don't ever see you people holding up signs trying to prevent obesity and defending diabetes, and diabetes kills 4 million people a year. "Eat the booger, stop the sugar!" "Drop the McDouble, you're in trouble!" It's THAT easy, yet you don't do it. You get no sympathy from me.
aintlifeapain 21
We had to be "genuine" on FML? Since when! I have been lied to!
nightbirdblue 27
Yes, everyone who is offended by suicide jokes is just that way because it's a trend right now. No one who has ever attempted suicide could ever get offended by it. I guess also that no one who has people they cared about committed suicide or attempted it could ever be offended either. There is absolutely no reason to be offended beyond it being a mainstream trend. *eye roll*
MoronsAccount1 12
Haven't you heard, 30? Since suicide. Apparently someone else's free will is our fault. It's not like cancer, where they can't control it, yet society thinks we an obligation to care. When I was growing up, we didn't call it suicide, we called it natural selection, because that's what it is. If you even mention the word 'suicide', you'll get pummeled by these Instagram teens and they'll tell you how much of a douchebag you are. Currently, right now in Syria, they're cutting off the heads of 40 day old babies and killing their mothers. Syrians are also cutting open and eating other Syrians hearts. Please, continue to tell me how I'm such an issue.
Pwn17 25
Nobody wakes up one day and says"Hey, today I think I'll commit suicide." They're driven to that point through often years of struggling with depression. Do you know how hard it is to go on when you have no desire to live?
Neyuu 18
37, you're right, but what does that have to do with the comment?
CharresBarkrey 16
37 - And do you know how easy it is to get help for depression?
IworkAt711 14
51- Just because you get help doesnt mean you will no longer be depressed. Talking to a therapist and taking meds doesnt just "cure" you.
Nmaredia 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Omgg...that's awful!!
LegolasPrincess 10
#6 It was just a little screw up, not the end of the world.
Martinez0285 28
well I guess this is the night bitches die... :p
allie2590 31
Whoa, calm down there.
aintlifeapain 21
Unless you know OP (or claim to), that is a stupid thing to say.
CrissyyyS2 22
Someone else could have the same name...
ohro 10
Unless you have a unique name, I don't think it's noticeable.
keverdeen 14
Hopefully it wasn't last name, too
CorpsmanUp88 21
Just a little mix up. Everyone has those moments.