Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
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Top comments
carlycrf 8
did you swallow?
iHaveADream_ 0
hahaha . don't lie , you liked it (;
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Comments (258)
musik_prodigy 0
Dude, you gotta laugh at that! :)
Deservesit22 1
You should've yelled Friendly fire!!
kurato 6
It his own **** so wouldn't that be a "suicide!" ?
killjoy64 4
but she's the one with the gun
Deservesit22 1
And I would say she's friendly
hmna 0
What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
brassknuckles 0
Never accept the tug job! if ya can do it yourself it ain't worth it and sadism like this occurs. Hahaha.
kayPandastyle 15
This is ****** hilarious!! But how would he deserve this?
razeleet 0
There's too many trolls that just like press ydi even if they don't deserve it :P
RedPillSucks 33
Some guys need to feel what their girlfriends feel all the time. It makes them appreciate things more. Not all girls like giving bj but they do it to please their man. He needs to eat some pie in return.
aliaskis 3
Wow 60, I'm honestly surprised that a male could see it from that point of view. Kudos to you for not being narrow-minded. I really think the OP did deserve it. Five bucks he would have been fine with it going all over her face. His bodily fluids are great for other people, but if they get on him his day is ruined and his life sucks? If you can't deal with what the other person deals with, you are selfish and should keep your (disgusting) goo to yourself and your favorite sock.
fearfulsymmetry 1
80: How does OP deserve it? I think it's perfectly okay to have preferences. He doesn't want his bodily fluids getting on him, fine. Some girls don't like when guys try to kiss them after they've gone down on them, that's fine too. Everyone has their likes and dislikes.
bootje 5
80: if you're so surprised, doesn't that make you a bit narrow-minded ;) men aren't all the same, i suspect lol i agree OP deserved it, btw :)
tucansam555 3
that's dick mode
eclecticstrings 0
is it just me, or are all the recent FML's by the same person? :S
keneko_kills_you 0
hummina hummina hummina, POW! right in the kisser!
jolly12 0
hahaha that's funny. I've never heard of that one before haha
FamiliarStranger 2
Looks like christmas *puts on sunglasses* came early.
xStarKillerx 4
YEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!